The pain in my bones is getting slowly and gradually worse. I have near-constant dull pain that shifts around to different places, mostly hips and shoulders, arms and legs, and back. Last night I felt it in my left hand for the first time. I have sharp pain with certain movements, particularly in my left shoulder and right hip. My back has stiffened to where some movements are difficult, such as putting on socks or getting in and out of a car. The pain sometimes makes me tired and/or cranky. I can mask the pain with oxycodone pills so far, although I may need to put a fentanyl patch back on if the pain gets bad enough to prevent me from sleeping.
If left untreated, I would guess that I would become incapacitated by the pain and/or the painkillers before very long. That's why I am restarting the chemo. I want to be functional for my dad's visit in December and my sister's family's visit at Christmas.
I keep giving myself goals to shoot for. At first, I just wanted to make it to the Red Sox game in July. Then it was our Labor Day trip to Orcas Island. Then it was San Francisco, and then North Carolina. Now it's Christmas with my family. Then it would be to make it through Seth's basketball season at the YMCA. I'm reluctant to set longer-term goals because honestly I don't know that I will be able to reach them, and I don't want to feel disappointed.
Ethan
No comments:
Post a Comment