Relevant to the part of my Jan. 20 post (http://ethanremmel.blogspot.com/2011/01/random-rantings.html) about originalism and my disagreement with it, there is an article by Jill Lepore in the Jan. 17 issue of "The New Yorker" (which I just read - I'm a little behind) about constitutional interpretation and originalism vs. the liberal/progressive "living Constitution" alternative (our side needs a catchy name - part of our problem):
http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2011/01/17/110117crat_atlarge_lepore
On a less serious note, the World Champion San Francisco Giants star relief pitcher and known eccentric Brian "Fear the Beard" Wilson recently appeared on the George Lopez TV show and demonstrated his Will Ferrell-esque sense of humor (thanks Andy Bunn for the tip):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC52rkgkNgU
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Eric and "Donald"
Eric sent me a copy of his new book "Donald" (http://www.amazon.com/Donald-Eric-Martin/dp/1936365251). The cover illustration is by our Australian friend Simon Rippingale and plays off the cover of Donald Rumsfeld's memoir "Known and Unknown."
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Seth, basketball
Seth's first game of the season was this morning. We don't keep score at the YMCA, but Seth played well. Lynn attended and took some pictures and videos with my camera (thanks Lynn!).
Pics: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2403
Videos: http://myweb.facstaff.wwu.edu/remmele/seth
Ethan
Pics: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2403
Videos: http://myweb.facstaff.wwu.edu/remmele/seth
Ethan
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Comments
I would like to thank everyone who has posted comments on the blog. I really enjoy reading people's comments, so thank you!
I deleted my recent post about Burning Man just because I decided that I was a little self-conscious about having a half-naked picture of me covered in mud circulating in digital perpetuity. Especially since I've claimed that I'm glad that our generation's youthful indiscretions were not recorded online. Anyway, y'all got a chance to see it. I've got lots more funny pics from our past, but I think they'll stay in my photo albums. You'll have to visit if you want to see them!
I added the copyright notice to the top of the blog on the recommendation of the editor at a magazine where I may publish some version of some of this material as a blog on their website. I'll let you know if/when that happens.
Ethan
I deleted my recent post about Burning Man just because I decided that I was a little self-conscious about having a half-naked picture of me covered in mud circulating in digital perpetuity. Especially since I've claimed that I'm glad that our generation's youthful indiscretions were not recorded online. Anyway, y'all got a chance to see it. I've got lots more funny pics from our past, but I think they'll stay in my photo albums. You'll have to visit if you want to see them!
I added the copyright notice to the top of the blog on the recommendation of the editor at a magazine where I may publish some version of some of this material as a blog on their website. I'll let you know if/when that happens.
Ethan
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Giving up
Victor Frankl is right (see post from January 16) - one can have moments of joy in the midst of suffering. I had a happy moment last night. I was sitting on the red loveseat. Miles was sitting next to me and Grace was sitting on the other side of him. We were watching one of Miles's DVDs (They Might Be Giants 1-2-3). Seth climbed into my lap. I felt his weight and smelled his hair. I was happy.
But does the possibility of happy moments justify enduring any amount of suffering? I don't think so. When the ratio of painful moments to happy ones reaches some point, I think it's acceptable to decide that this quality of life isn't worth it. I don't know where that point is and I'm reluctant to make that decision because, at least for now, it feels like giving up and I don't want my sons to ever think that I gave up. I don't want them to ever give up on themselves, so how could I justify giving up on myself?
But is accepting the inevitable really giving up? I think that's an unfortunate implication of the "battle" metaphor for dealing with terminal illness. This isn't really a battle. At least, it's not a fair battle. I've been told in advance that I can't win.
But what is winning? It's not living forever. I think it's dying well. But what is dying well? I think it's living well as long as possible.
That makes sense to me, but it's hard to live well when you feel sick all the time. And so I go, round in circles...
Ethan
But does the possibility of happy moments justify enduring any amount of suffering? I don't think so. When the ratio of painful moments to happy ones reaches some point, I think it's acceptable to decide that this quality of life isn't worth it. I don't know where that point is and I'm reluctant to make that decision because, at least for now, it feels like giving up and I don't want my sons to ever think that I gave up. I don't want them to ever give up on themselves, so how could I justify giving up on myself?
But is accepting the inevitable really giving up? I think that's an unfortunate implication of the "battle" metaphor for dealing with terminal illness. This isn't really a battle. At least, it's not a fair battle. I've been told in advance that I can't win.
But what is winning? It's not living forever. I think it's dying well. But what is dying well? I think it's living well as long as possible.
That makes sense to me, but it's hard to live well when you feel sick all the time. And so I go, round in circles...
Ethan
Sadness
It has not been a fun few days. I have had a constant stomachache, which makes it hard to enjoy anything. Combined with the constant fatigue, low-level bone pain, numbness in my feet, bloody nose, etc., it's getting me pretty down. It's amazing how quickly things can change. One week ago, last Tuesday, the day before chemo, I felt pretty good. I played basketball and was making plans for months away. Now I'm struggling to get out of bed and starting to fantasize about stopping treatment and letting things take their course. Chemotherapy is disgusting. Over the past couple days I read the book "Dying well: The prospect for growth at the end of life" by Ira Byock, president of the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine. I'm not sure that helped my mood any. One of the themes of the book is making peace and letting go when your time comes. I'm not there yet. I'm not at peace with dying now. I don't feel like this is the right time for me. It's certainly not the right time for my kids. It makes me really sad.
Another of the book's themes is the importance of repairing relationships and offering and accepting forgiveness for past wrongs. Fortunately I don't feel like that applies much to me. I'm not estranged from any family or friends. Quite the opposite - I feel wonderfully supported by my family and friends.
Another theme is the importance of accepting care from others without feeling like that is degrading or undignified. I struggle with that. I don't want to be a burden to my loved ones, even though I know they want to care for me. It's helpful to remember that I would want to care for them if the positions were reversed.
Yesterday it rained all day, which also didn't help my mood. I basically rested during the day, trying to store up energy for having Seth in the afternoon and evening. We had basketball practice at the YMCA, which was fun even though I wasn't feeling well. We have a good group of kids, many of the same kids from last year's team. I like working with kids, which is one reason I went into developmental psychology. And I like teaching and seeing the kids start to understand and use the things we are trying to teach them. It makes me realize how much I miss my professional role as a teacher. And I love to watch Seth run and play and have fun.
After practice Seth and I met Grace and Miles for dinner at La Fiamma Wood Fire Pizza. Grace and I shared our favorite pizza - the Sofia (prosciutto, rosemary, red onion). Afterward I dropped off Seth with Lynn and then went straight to bed for 12 hours.
Today I rested and read in the morning. In the afternoon I made myself get up, go outside, and finish pruning the fruit trees. It was warm and overcast, although the sun peeked through the clouds occasionally. The grass has started growing. Will I have to mow in January?
After finishing the pruning and returning Gene's orchard ladder (thanks Gene!), I decided to take my favorite walk around the boardwalk. The clouds were clearing, the sun was low in the sky, and it was really pretty. However, I was overcome with a wave of sadness. Tears were streaming down my face and my body was shaking with sobs. I averted my face as I passed people because I didn't want them to see my red splotchy face and runny nose. I walked down to the little floating dock (where Andy Bunn once picked me up in his sailboat on a happy summer day) and sat at the edge. The way the water rippled in the light, the cry of the seagulls, and the slight rocking motion reminded me of Maine. Sometimes when I think about the fact that I may never see Maine again it makes me so sad that my chest hurts and I can barely breathe. At that moment, however, thinking about Maine calmed me down. I closed my eyes and felt the light breeze on my face. I opened my eyes and dipped my fingers in the water. I thought about the fact that all the world's oceans are connected, and so in a way I was touching the water in Maine.
Ethan
Another of the book's themes is the importance of repairing relationships and offering and accepting forgiveness for past wrongs. Fortunately I don't feel like that applies much to me. I'm not estranged from any family or friends. Quite the opposite - I feel wonderfully supported by my family and friends.
Another theme is the importance of accepting care from others without feeling like that is degrading or undignified. I struggle with that. I don't want to be a burden to my loved ones, even though I know they want to care for me. It's helpful to remember that I would want to care for them if the positions were reversed.
Yesterday it rained all day, which also didn't help my mood. I basically rested during the day, trying to store up energy for having Seth in the afternoon and evening. We had basketball practice at the YMCA, which was fun even though I wasn't feeling well. We have a good group of kids, many of the same kids from last year's team. I like working with kids, which is one reason I went into developmental psychology. And I like teaching and seeing the kids start to understand and use the things we are trying to teach them. It makes me realize how much I miss my professional role as a teacher. And I love to watch Seth run and play and have fun.
After practice Seth and I met Grace and Miles for dinner at La Fiamma Wood Fire Pizza. Grace and I shared our favorite pizza - the Sofia (prosciutto, rosemary, red onion). Afterward I dropped off Seth with Lynn and then went straight to bed for 12 hours.
Today I rested and read in the morning. In the afternoon I made myself get up, go outside, and finish pruning the fruit trees. It was warm and overcast, although the sun peeked through the clouds occasionally. The grass has started growing. Will I have to mow in January?
After finishing the pruning and returning Gene's orchard ladder (thanks Gene!), I decided to take my favorite walk around the boardwalk. The clouds were clearing, the sun was low in the sky, and it was really pretty. However, I was overcome with a wave of sadness. Tears were streaming down my face and my body was shaking with sobs. I averted my face as I passed people because I didn't want them to see my red splotchy face and runny nose. I walked down to the little floating dock (where Andy Bunn once picked me up in his sailboat on a happy summer day) and sat at the edge. The way the water rippled in the light, the cry of the seagulls, and the slight rocking motion reminded me of Maine. Sometimes when I think about the fact that I may never see Maine again it makes me so sad that my chest hurts and I can barely breathe. At that moment, however, thinking about Maine calmed me down. I closed my eyes and felt the light breeze on my face. I opened my eyes and dipped my fingers in the water. I thought about the fact that all the world's oceans are connected, and so in a way I was touching the water in Maine.
Ethan
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Sunday evening update
Friday was a milestone day - Seth attended his new school for the full day for the first time! Lynn and I celebrated with him in the evening. We went to a storytellers event at the Fairhaven Library, which Seth enjoyed, and then had dessert at Big Fat Fish Company. Seth had Meyer lemon cheesecake, Lynn had flourless chocolate torte, and I had Bailey's Irish Creme creme brulee - all yummy.
Saturday morning Seth and I had basketball practice at the YMCA. Seth had some nice passes and a beautiful driving layup. He is a coordinated kid.
Unfortunately I was then hit with fatigue and a severe stomachache so the rest of the day was a struggle for me, trying to be "on" as a dad. In the afternoon I took Seth to an electronics workshop at the Museum of Radio and Electricity, which was good because Seth was entertained and I could rest. The kids took apart and examined old electronic devices. Afterward Seth and I explored the museum, which is pretty cool. Tesla coil, voice oscilloscope, theremin, hand-crank generator, Leyden jars, etc.
After Lynn picked up Seth this morning to go skiing, I went back to bed until almost noon. I woke up to a sunny warm day. I spent the afternoon pruning the fruit trees in the yard. I finished pruning the pear tree and one of the apple trees. Last year was the first year that I didn't prune the trees, although I think it was probably fine for them to have a break. I enjoy this job, although I felt a wave of sadness today as I thought about the chances that I will be around to harvest the fruit later this year.
I was up in the pear tree and I heard a buzzing sound approaching. A little hummingbird flew up and landed on a branch a few feet from me. His body was iridescent green and when he moved his head I could see bright iridescent pink feathers around his throat. He opened his beak and sang a little song and then flew off. I said "thank you" aloud.
The daffodils are starting to sprout and it's only January! When we first moved here, they sprouted in April. It's been getting earlier every year. Global warming, I guess.
Over the years I have looked at and considered every limb and branch of these trees. It reminds me of when Eric was here and we were looking at Seth's Legos, many of which are my old Legos that Eric and I played with when were kids, and Eric commented that we must have looked at and considered the possibilities of every single one of these pieces at some point.
Speaking of Legos, Miles is getting more coordinated with them. The other day he built an airplane that actually looked like an airplane. Miles continues to be a joy. He is so full of positive energy. Even when he protests something he is cute. He makes us all laugh.
Grace has cooked delicious dinners every night since my mom left (OK, we got Thai take-out one night). Tonight was tortellini with proscuitto and spinach. Last night was bison meatloaf, mashed potatoes, salad, and I made my cheesy cauliflower, which both boys like. Thank you Grace!
Ethan
Saturday morning Seth and I had basketball practice at the YMCA. Seth had some nice passes and a beautiful driving layup. He is a coordinated kid.
Unfortunately I was then hit with fatigue and a severe stomachache so the rest of the day was a struggle for me, trying to be "on" as a dad. In the afternoon I took Seth to an electronics workshop at the Museum of Radio and Electricity, which was good because Seth was entertained and I could rest. The kids took apart and examined old electronic devices. Afterward Seth and I explored the museum, which is pretty cool. Tesla coil, voice oscilloscope, theremin, hand-crank generator, Leyden jars, etc.
After Lynn picked up Seth this morning to go skiing, I went back to bed until almost noon. I woke up to a sunny warm day. I spent the afternoon pruning the fruit trees in the yard. I finished pruning the pear tree and one of the apple trees. Last year was the first year that I didn't prune the trees, although I think it was probably fine for them to have a break. I enjoy this job, although I felt a wave of sadness today as I thought about the chances that I will be around to harvest the fruit later this year.
I was up in the pear tree and I heard a buzzing sound approaching. A little hummingbird flew up and landed on a branch a few feet from me. His body was iridescent green and when he moved his head I could see bright iridescent pink feathers around his throat. He opened his beak and sang a little song and then flew off. I said "thank you" aloud.
The daffodils are starting to sprout and it's only January! When we first moved here, they sprouted in April. It's been getting earlier every year. Global warming, I guess.
Over the years I have looked at and considered every limb and branch of these trees. It reminds me of when Eric was here and we were looking at Seth's Legos, many of which are my old Legos that Eric and I played with when were kids, and Eric commented that we must have looked at and considered the possibilities of every single one of these pieces at some point.
Speaking of Legos, Miles is getting more coordinated with them. The other day he built an airplane that actually looked like an airplane. Miles continues to be a joy. He is so full of positive energy. Even when he protests something he is cute. He makes us all laugh.
Grace has cooked delicious dinners every night since my mom left (OK, we got Thai take-out one night). Tonight was tortellini with proscuitto and spinach. Last night was bison meatloaf, mashed potatoes, salad, and I made my cheesy cauliflower, which both boys like. Thank you Grace!
Ethan
Friday, January 21, 2011
A story
I volunteered for Big Brothers/Big Sisters of San Francisco in the mid 1990s. I was matched with Freddy Mendez, an 8-year-old boy who was living with his grandmother and three of his sisters in the Mission District. His mom was on drugs and in and out of jail. His dad was out of the picture, probably deported back to Central America. I spent every Saturday with Freddy for the first year, every other Saturday for the second year, every third Saturday for the third year, and every fourth Saturday from then on until I lost track of him. He got hard to keep track of as he was eventually removed from his grandmother's home because she couldn't handle him as well as his sisters, then he moved between various foster homes and group homes (some of which were pretty grim and he ran away from), then he was in juvenile hall for a while (where I continued to visit him), and then he was hanging out on the streets with a gang in the Mission. His mom did clean up her act and get him back for a while, but I don't know what eventually happened.
I taught Freddy to swim and he grew to love swimming. We would often go to the Garfield public pool, which was then in the middle of the Army Street projects, which have since been demolished (and the street renamed Cesar Chavez Street). I remember one day we were at the pool and started playing with another little boy. When Freddy and I were getting ready to go, the other boy (whose name I don't remember) asked if he could come with us. I said it was fine with me but we would have to ask his mother. He led us into one of the project buildings and up a urine-smelling graffiti-covered concrete stairwell to an unmarked door, which he pounded on. Eventually his mother opened the door, looking none too happy to see us. I explained who I was and asked if I could take her son for a walk with Freddy and me up Bernal Hill. She said fine, whatever and closed the door. Se he came with us. We walked up Bernal Hill to the top, which has amazing views over the city and around the Bay. We sat down and looked out at the view. The little boy said: this is amazing - I've never been up here! I was shocked as that spot is only about 6 blocks from where he lived.
I was reminded of this story because I've been wearing my Big Brothers/Big Sisters of San Francisco sweatshirt (baggy sweatshirts are good for hiding the chemo pump) and because Jonathan, Sarah, and I and our kids walked up Bernal Hill during my recent visit.
Ethan
I taught Freddy to swim and he grew to love swimming. We would often go to the Garfield public pool, which was then in the middle of the Army Street projects, which have since been demolished (and the street renamed Cesar Chavez Street). I remember one day we were at the pool and started playing with another little boy. When Freddy and I were getting ready to go, the other boy (whose name I don't remember) asked if he could come with us. I said it was fine with me but we would have to ask his mother. He led us into one of the project buildings and up a urine-smelling graffiti-covered concrete stairwell to an unmarked door, which he pounded on. Eventually his mother opened the door, looking none too happy to see us. I explained who I was and asked if I could take her son for a walk with Freddy and me up Bernal Hill. She said fine, whatever and closed the door. Se he came with us. We walked up Bernal Hill to the top, which has amazing views over the city and around the Bay. We sat down and looked out at the view. The little boy said: this is amazing - I've never been up here! I was shocked as that spot is only about 6 blocks from where he lived.
I was reminded of this story because I've been wearing my Big Brothers/Big Sisters of San Francisco sweatshirt (baggy sweatshirts are good for hiding the chemo pump) and because Jonathan, Sarah, and I and our kids walked up Bernal Hill during my recent visit.
Ethan
Gifts
I am sitting in my new (to me) leather office chair which Gene & Jane gave to me because they got a new chair for Gene's computer desk. My new chair is nicer and more comfortable than my old chair, which was falling apart. I am wearing the soft alpaca knit cap that Jane & Al gave me during their visit last weekend. And I just finished a cup of hot chocolate using the funny-faces-of-friends mug that Hannah et al. gave me (see "Thanks" post from Jan. 5), and which I use for hot chocolate almost every morning.
Thanks for these and all the other wonderful gifts that I have received, both tangible and intangible!
Ethan
Thanks for these and all the other wonderful gifts that I have received, both tangible and intangible!
Ethan
Thursday, January 20, 2011
NFL playoffs and related digressions
My order of preference for the teams remaining in the NFL playoffs:
1. Green Bay Packers
I like their QB Aaron Rodgers a lot. He's always smiling, helping up defenders, and I think he handled the difficult position of taking over for Brett Favre as well as possible (unlike Favre who acted like an ass). Rodgers can also play a little. Witness his last game ( playoff win over Falcons in Atlanta): 31 for 36, 366 yards, 3 TDs (plus rushed for another), 0 INT. If a certain tall long-haired UGGs-wearing QB keeps underperforming in the playoffs he is going to lose his spot on my man-crush list to Rodgers. In fact, he's already loaning it to Rodgers. Rodgers is a Cal Bear, but I don't hold that against him. Grace (B.S. from Cal) and I (Ph.D. from Stanford) have a friendly Stanford-Cal rivalry, but Grace takes it more seriously than I do (undergrad and grad school loyalties are different). Some of my good friends went to Cal (Grace and her younger brother Greg, Jon Burke, Vandy, Larry Schadt, etc.) and I root for Cal against most other teams besides Stanford and now U. of Washington. Grace, on the other hand, finds it hard to root for Stanford under any circumstances, even in their awesome Orange Bowl 40-12 rout of Virginia Tech and even though I and her older sister Gigi went there. Speaking of Stanford football, their star QB Andrew Luck (second in the Heisman Trophy voting) decided to return for another season to finish his degree in architectural design (3.5 GPA). I doubt he will win the Heisman next year because the team probably won't be as good (lots of players graduated, especially on their excellent offensive line) and so his stats will suffer (a la Jake Locker) but he will still be the #1 pick in the 2012 NFL draft, barring injury (related story: http://www.stanforddaily.com/2010/10/28/stanford-football-among-top-ncaa-graduation-scores/). Stanford's coach Jim Harbaugh did bolt for the NFL, specifically the SF 49ers, about which I am unhappy as a Stanford fan but happy as a 49ers fan. I wouldn't be too unhappy if the 49ers lost all their games next season to get Luck in the draft, although that might get Harbaugh fired before they could be reunited.
The Berkeley hyper-liberal scene is easily mockable, but it beats the Hoover Institution at Stanford. Still, there's no doubt where I would rather Seth or Miles go, if they could get in. But to get accepted as an undergrad to Stanford these days it seems you need a 4.0 GPA as well as starting your own company and selling it for millions which you donate to charity to focus on the Olympic trials. And even then it's a crapshoot.
But back to the Packers. As a socialist of sorts, raised and residing in small cities (Portland ME and Bellingham WA), I gotta love a non-profit community-owned franchise in a city of just over 100,000 (metro area around 300,000 - next smallest NFL metro area: Buffalo at 1.1 million). My dad's family is from Wisconsin (Neenah-Menasha area) and he was born there (in Marinette) before moving to Colorado Springs around age 6. Lynn's family is also from Wisconsin (Madison-Middleton). My friend Troy taught at UW-Green Bay before WWU.
The major downside of the Packers on TV: more shots of linebacker Clay Matthews's gross long hair: http://oplions.blogspot.com/2010/10/clay-matthews-could-have-been-drafted.html
2. Chicago Bears
My sister Rachel lived in Chicago for about 10 years (Ph.D. University of Chicago in art history) and became a Bears fan, although she has stopped following sports now (they've taken a back seat to her two sons). Lynn's dad Dave Coakley is a Bears fan, despite living in Wisconsin. "Da Bears" is fun to say. I'm over the Bears' 46-10 beating of the Patriots in the 1986 Super Bowl (three subsequent Patriot Super Bowl wins will do that - although the last one was in 2005 and I'm getting impatient for another).
I don't like the Bears QB Jay Cutler, who is petulant, pouty, and inconsistent - although when he's hot he can be very good. Their speedy kick returner/receiver Devin Hester is exciting to watch. Their star veteran linebacker Brian Urlacher seems like a stand-up guy and I approve of his hairstyle: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/players/photos?photoId=2797481&playerId=2140
3. Pittsburgh Steelers
The Patriots and Steelers have a bit of a rivalry, as successful AFC teams in recent years, which makes me dislike the Steelers. My mom's family is from northwestern Pennsylvania (Erie area), which is mostly Steeler country, although also close to Cleveland and Buffalo. The Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger went to Miami of Ohio, which produces pro athletes with hard-to-spell last names (cf. Wally Szczerbiak), and where my former masters student Joel Gaffney is getting his Ph.D. in child clinical psychology. The Steelers star safety Troy Polamalu has long hair but in his case I think it looks pretty cool: http://www.mashedreport.com/2010/08/31/hair-of-pittsburgh-steele_m_000881.php
4. New York Jets
The Jets are my least-favorite NFL team. With the Patriots' playoff loss to the Jets last week, we will have to endure the yapping of their loudmouth coach (Fatty McFootfetish), players, and fans for at least another year. Ugh.
Ethan
1. Green Bay Packers
I like their QB Aaron Rodgers a lot. He's always smiling, helping up defenders, and I think he handled the difficult position of taking over for Brett Favre as well as possible (unlike Favre who acted like an ass). Rodgers can also play a little. Witness his last game ( playoff win over Falcons in Atlanta): 31 for 36, 366 yards, 3 TDs (plus rushed for another), 0 INT. If a certain tall long-haired UGGs-wearing QB keeps underperforming in the playoffs he is going to lose his spot on my man-crush list to Rodgers. In fact, he's already loaning it to Rodgers. Rodgers is a Cal Bear, but I don't hold that against him. Grace (B.S. from Cal) and I (Ph.D. from Stanford) have a friendly Stanford-Cal rivalry, but Grace takes it more seriously than I do (undergrad and grad school loyalties are different). Some of my good friends went to Cal (Grace and her younger brother Greg, Jon Burke, Vandy, Larry Schadt, etc.) and I root for Cal against most other teams besides Stanford and now U. of Washington. Grace, on the other hand, finds it hard to root for Stanford under any circumstances, even in their awesome Orange Bowl 40-12 rout of Virginia Tech and even though I and her older sister Gigi went there. Speaking of Stanford football, their star QB Andrew Luck (second in the Heisman Trophy voting) decided to return for another season to finish his degree in architectural design (3.5 GPA). I doubt he will win the Heisman next year because the team probably won't be as good (lots of players graduated, especially on their excellent offensive line) and so his stats will suffer (a la Jake Locker) but he will still be the #1 pick in the 2012 NFL draft, barring injury (related story: http://www.stanforddaily.com/2010/10/28/stanford-football-among-top-ncaa-graduation-scores/). Stanford's coach Jim Harbaugh did bolt for the NFL, specifically the SF 49ers, about which I am unhappy as a Stanford fan but happy as a 49ers fan. I wouldn't be too unhappy if the 49ers lost all their games next season to get Luck in the draft, although that might get Harbaugh fired before they could be reunited.
The Berkeley hyper-liberal scene is easily mockable, but it beats the Hoover Institution at Stanford. Still, there's no doubt where I would rather Seth or Miles go, if they could get in. But to get accepted as an undergrad to Stanford these days it seems you need a 4.0 GPA as well as starting your own company and selling it for millions which you donate to charity to focus on the Olympic trials. And even then it's a crapshoot.
But back to the Packers. As a socialist of sorts, raised and residing in small cities (Portland ME and Bellingham WA), I gotta love a non-profit community-owned franchise in a city of just over 100,000 (metro area around 300,000 - next smallest NFL metro area: Buffalo at 1.1 million). My dad's family is from Wisconsin (Neenah-Menasha area) and he was born there (in Marinette) before moving to Colorado Springs around age 6. Lynn's family is also from Wisconsin (Madison-Middleton). My friend Troy taught at UW-Green Bay before WWU.
The major downside of the Packers on TV: more shots of linebacker Clay Matthews's gross long hair: http://oplions.blogspot.com/2010/10/clay-matthews-could-have-been-drafted.html
2. Chicago Bears
My sister Rachel lived in Chicago for about 10 years (Ph.D. University of Chicago in art history) and became a Bears fan, although she has stopped following sports now (they've taken a back seat to her two sons). Lynn's dad Dave Coakley is a Bears fan, despite living in Wisconsin. "Da Bears" is fun to say. I'm over the Bears' 46-10 beating of the Patriots in the 1986 Super Bowl (three subsequent Patriot Super Bowl wins will do that - although the last one was in 2005 and I'm getting impatient for another).
I don't like the Bears QB Jay Cutler, who is petulant, pouty, and inconsistent - although when he's hot he can be very good. Their speedy kick returner/receiver Devin Hester is exciting to watch. Their star veteran linebacker Brian Urlacher seems like a stand-up guy and I approve of his hairstyle: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/players/photos?photoId=2797481&playerId=2140
3. Pittsburgh Steelers
The Patriots and Steelers have a bit of a rivalry, as successful AFC teams in recent years, which makes me dislike the Steelers. My mom's family is from northwestern Pennsylvania (Erie area), which is mostly Steeler country, although also close to Cleveland and Buffalo. The Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger went to Miami of Ohio, which produces pro athletes with hard-to-spell last names (cf. Wally Szczerbiak), and where my former masters student Joel Gaffney is getting his Ph.D. in child clinical psychology. The Steelers star safety Troy Polamalu has long hair but in his case I think it looks pretty cool: http://www.mashedreport.com/2010/08/31/hair-of-pittsburgh-steele_m_000881.php
4. New York Jets
The Jets are my least-favorite NFL team. With the Patriots' playoff loss to the Jets last week, we will have to endure the yapping of their loudmouth coach (Fatty McFootfetish), players, and fans for at least another year. Ugh.
Ethan
Random Rantings
I had my chemo infusion at the hospital yesterday and I wear the chemo pump until tomorrow. I think and hope that 20 years from now people will look back at chemotherapy for the treatment of cancer the way we look at trephination for the release of evil spirits. My mom accompanied me to chemo, as usual, and departed for Maine early this morning.
Some people have asked me about the LGBTQ reference in a previous blog post. I have seen/heard that extended to LGBTQQIA for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, and Allies. I am an ally and proud of it. At WWU I served on the LGBT Advocacy Council. I have a placard on my office door that signals that I intend to be an ally and a safe resource.
Technically, LGBTQ is an abbreviation or initialism, not an acronym, because it does not form a pronounceable word (I don't think). SCUBA (Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus) is an acronym because you can say it as a word (in fact, by now it can be considered a word in its own right). IRA (Individual Retirement Account) is a borderline case because it can be pronounced as a word (like our Dr. Hyman's first name) but is often said as letters (I-R-A).
If you haven't seen it before, I like this classic satirical essay about homosexuality and the Bible:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp
Like a good liberal/progressive, I think our interpretation of texts such as the Bible or the Constitution can and should evolve as our culture evolves. I think originalism, such as that promulgated by Justice Scalia with regard to the Consitution, is a ridiculous philosophy. Should we consider blacks as 3/5 of a person in the census because the Founding Fathers did? Should women have the right to vote? Clearly the existence of an amendment process shows that the Founding Fathers recognized that things change as new issues and knowledge arise.
For example, the 2005 Supreme Court decision to ban the execution of individuals who were minors when they committed their crimes (Roper v. Simmons) overturned a 1989 Supreme Court decision to allow the practice. Justice Kennedy, who switched positions, wrote the 5-4 majority opinion and cited "evolving standards of decency that mark the progress of a maturing society." Needless to say, Scalia dissented.
The American Psychological Association (APA) supported the Roper v. Simmons decision, citing research that adolescents are not cognitively mature as evidence that the consequences of their actions should be judged differently from those of adults, and that minors should be given a chance to mature into productive members of society. In his dissent, Scalia, I think cleverly, argued that the APA was being inconsistent because in a 1989 case the APA submitted an amicus brief that argued that adolescents are cognitively mature enough to make abortion decisions without necessarily obtaining parental consent. The APA responded that the cases and considerations are different enough that there is no inconsistency, but I think Scalia succeeded in calling into question whether the APA's positions are based on objective scientific facts or subjective moral-political biases.
I doubt this would make either side happy, but modern philosophy of science holds that there are no such thing as "objective scientific facts." Scientific beliefs are continually revised in light of new evidence, and the research process cannot be entirely insulated from human biases. But at least scientific beliefs are based on evidence and not simply personal taste, popular vote, or antiquated tradition, and the research process and replication can control for, if not eliminate, individual biases.
Ethan
Some people have asked me about the LGBTQ reference in a previous blog post. I have seen/heard that extended to LGBTQQIA for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, and Allies. I am an ally and proud of it. At WWU I served on the LGBT Advocacy Council. I have a placard on my office door that signals that I intend to be an ally and a safe resource.
Technically, LGBTQ is an abbreviation or initialism, not an acronym, because it does not form a pronounceable word (I don't think). SCUBA (Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus) is an acronym because you can say it as a word (in fact, by now it can be considered a word in its own right). IRA (Individual Retirement Account) is a borderline case because it can be pronounced as a word (like our Dr. Hyman's first name) but is often said as letters (I-R-A).
If you haven't seen it before, I like this classic satirical essay about homosexuality and the Bible:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp
Like a good liberal/progressive, I think our interpretation of texts such as the Bible or the Constitution can and should evolve as our culture evolves. I think originalism, such as that promulgated by Justice Scalia with regard to the Consitution, is a ridiculous philosophy. Should we consider blacks as 3/5 of a person in the census because the Founding Fathers did? Should women have the right to vote? Clearly the existence of an amendment process shows that the Founding Fathers recognized that things change as new issues and knowledge arise.
For example, the 2005 Supreme Court decision to ban the execution of individuals who were minors when they committed their crimes (Roper v. Simmons) overturned a 1989 Supreme Court decision to allow the practice. Justice Kennedy, who switched positions, wrote the 5-4 majority opinion and cited "evolving standards of decency that mark the progress of a maturing society." Needless to say, Scalia dissented.
The American Psychological Association (APA) supported the Roper v. Simmons decision, citing research that adolescents are not cognitively mature as evidence that the consequences of their actions should be judged differently from those of adults, and that minors should be given a chance to mature into productive members of society. In his dissent, Scalia, I think cleverly, argued that the APA was being inconsistent because in a 1989 case the APA submitted an amicus brief that argued that adolescents are cognitively mature enough to make abortion decisions without necessarily obtaining parental consent. The APA responded that the cases and considerations are different enough that there is no inconsistency, but I think Scalia succeeded in calling into question whether the APA's positions are based on objective scientific facts or subjective moral-political biases.
I doubt this would make either side happy, but modern philosophy of science holds that there are no such thing as "objective scientific facts." Scientific beliefs are continually revised in light of new evidence, and the research process cannot be entirely insulated from human biases. But at least scientific beliefs are based on evidence and not simply personal taste, popular vote, or antiquated tradition, and the research process and replication can control for, if not eliminate, individual biases.
Ethan
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Basketball
I went to the university to play basketball yesterday but because of the MLK holiday nobody else was there except Kirk. We shot around, chatted, and played two games of Pressure (a 3-point shooting game). I shot unusually well in the Pressure games - I would guess around 75-80%. Kirk is one of the better 3-point shooters in our game but I won 21-5, I think, and 21-3.
I played basketball today - 4 games of half court. I felt the best physically I have in a while - quicker and more coordinated. I decided to keep track of my 3-pointers: I made my first 5, then 7 of my first 9, then missed my last two. I also had some good post-up moves. The last game was 2-on-2 with Ernie on my team. Ernie is around 75 but still pretty good. We won and that was satisfying.
Seth's first two basketball practices (Saturday and Monday) went well. We seem to have a good bunch of kids and I enjoyed working with them.
Tonight we had my friend Ben and his parents Richard and Helen over for dinner. Richard played the autoharp and Miles was entranced.
I have chemo tomorrow so I might be out of it for the next few days.
Ethan
I played basketball today - 4 games of half court. I felt the best physically I have in a while - quicker and more coordinated. I decided to keep track of my 3-pointers: I made my first 5, then 7 of my first 9, then missed my last two. I also had some good post-up moves. The last game was 2-on-2 with Ernie on my team. Ernie is around 75 but still pretty good. We won and that was satisfying.
Seth's first two basketball practices (Saturday and Monday) went well. We seem to have a good bunch of kids and I enjoyed working with them.
Tonight we had my friend Ben and his parents Richard and Helen over for dinner. Richard played the autoharp and Miles was entranced.
I have chemo tomorrow so I might be out of it for the next few days.
Ethan
Monday, January 17, 2011
Flashback
My friend Vandy sent me this awesome picture from a Burning Man festival in the late 90s. Burning Man is a crazy festival in the Black Rock Desert in Nevada every Labor Day weekend that culminates in the burning of a giant wooden effigy (the "Man"). Apparently our friend Jonathan Ainscow found this picture on the internet, taken by someone else. From left, that's Lynn, me, Jonathan, and Vandy.
I went to Burning Man several times in the 1990s. I hear it's more controlled now. It was really crazy back then. I first heard about Burning Man from Catherine (always ahead of the curve). I first went with Michael and Lauren and met up with Catherine, Angela, and others there. Lynn and I went to one during our first few weeks of dating and my car broke down in the desert (that's quite a story). The last couple times we went with Vandy and Leo and other friends. Later some of our SF friends had our own mini-festivals in the Black Rock Desert. We would bring something to burn (Burning Chair, Burning Futon - my old futon after I finally got a real bed). We have some great photos from those trips, including some taken by Hannah (an amazing photographer). Black Rock is such a dramatic landscape. When you see car commercials of cars driving across a big flat dry expanse - that's Black Rock. It would be fun to go back someday.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Love
Another quote from Victor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning":
"A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth - that love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist of enduring his sufferings in the right way - an honorable way - in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment."
"A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth - that love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist of enduring his sufferings in the right way - an honorable way - in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment."
Jane & Al's visit
Yesterday Jane, Al, my mom, Seth, and I took a walk through the woods and down to the beach at Point Whitehorn. Al, ever the good sport, crawled into into Seth's driftwood fort despite the damp weather. Today we all, plus Grace and Miles, took a walk in the Stimpson Nature Preserve. Al, again the good sport, stayed with Seth for an hour while Seth floated sticks down a stream and Jane, my mom, and I did one of the loop trails. Jane made a yummy chili and we had some friends over. There was also a football game but the less said about it the better.
Pics from our walks: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2384
Pics from our walks: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2384
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Anger
I was thinking some more about anger. My Aunt Vicki wrote me about her experience working with people dying of AIDS. She said that "some were wild with anger and fought it to the end and others took a softer approach, embracing it and learning to live with it." I guess I aim more for the latter approach, although sometimes I wonder whether more defiance might help me hold on longer. I am reminded of a quote from the essay Steven Jay Gould wrote after being diagnosed with a type of cancer that had an 8-month median survival time (Gould actually lived for 20 more years):
"It has become, in my view, a bit too trendy to regard the acceptance of death as something tantamount to intrinsic dignity. Of course I agree with the preacher of Ecclesiastes that there is a time to love and a time to die - and when my skein runs out I hope to face the end calmly and in my own way. For most situations, however, I prefer the more martial view that death is the ultimate enemy - and I find nothing reproachable in those who rage mightily against the dying of the light." (http://cancerguide.org/median_not_msg.html)
(The last line of course echoes the Dylan Thomas poem, which you can read and hear read by Thomas himself at this site: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15377 - Macromedia Flash Player needed to hear poem)
Since being diagnosed with incurable cancer, I have struggled with how to live. I have decided that there is value in trying to die well, although I'm still trying to decide what dying well is. Is it graceful acceptance or going down fighting? Some combination? I'm skeptical of the "battle" metaphor for dealing with terminal illness (e.g., "Mr. Smith lost his battle with cancer..."). Maybe it's my competitiveness, but I don't want to think of my death as "I lost." But maybe engaging my competitiveness is the key to not losing.
I just finished reading Victor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning." Frankl survived horrific conditions in Nazi concentration camps, but lost his entire family and all his possessions. One of his points is that we cannot always choose our circumstances, but we always have the freedom to choose our attitude toward our circumstances. He argues that life inevitably involves suffering, but we can survive great suffering with dignity if we can find meaning in our lives, including in our suffering. From the book:
"The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity - even under the most difficult circumstances - to add a deeper meaning to his life. It may remain brave, dignified and unselfish. Or in the bitter fight for self-preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal. Here lies the chance for a man either to make use of or to forgo the opportunities of attaining the moral values that a difficult situation may afford him. And this decides whether he is worthy of his sufferings or not."
"It has become, in my view, a bit too trendy to regard the acceptance of death as something tantamount to intrinsic dignity. Of course I agree with the preacher of Ecclesiastes that there is a time to love and a time to die - and when my skein runs out I hope to face the end calmly and in my own way. For most situations, however, I prefer the more martial view that death is the ultimate enemy - and I find nothing reproachable in those who rage mightily against the dying of the light." (http://cancerguide.org/median_not_msg.html)
(The last line of course echoes the Dylan Thomas poem, which you can read and hear read by Thomas himself at this site: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15377 - Macromedia Flash Player needed to hear poem)
Since being diagnosed with incurable cancer, I have struggled with how to live. I have decided that there is value in trying to die well, although I'm still trying to decide what dying well is. Is it graceful acceptance or going down fighting? Some combination? I'm skeptical of the "battle" metaphor for dealing with terminal illness (e.g., "Mr. Smith lost his battle with cancer..."). Maybe it's my competitiveness, but I don't want to think of my death as "I lost." But maybe engaging my competitiveness is the key to not losing.
I just finished reading Victor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning." Frankl survived horrific conditions in Nazi concentration camps, but lost his entire family and all his possessions. One of his points is that we cannot always choose our circumstances, but we always have the freedom to choose our attitude toward our circumstances. He argues that life inevitably involves suffering, but we can survive great suffering with dignity if we can find meaning in our lives, including in our suffering. From the book:
"The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity - even under the most difficult circumstances - to add a deeper meaning to his life. It may remain brave, dignified and unselfish. Or in the bitter fight for self-preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal. Here lies the chance for a man either to make use of or to forgo the opportunities of attaining the moral values that a difficult situation may afford him. And this decides whether he is worthy of his sufferings or not."
Friday, January 14, 2011
Religion
I don't feel angry about my situation often, because (a) I'm often too tired to feel angry, (b) there is nobody/nothing to be angry at, and (c) I don't want to be filled with negative feelings. But the other day I did feel a wave of anger, not for myself but for my sons. I think their lives would be better with me around, and I felt angry that I might not be. I don't want to offend anyone's religious sensibilities, but I don't believe there is a just god who would cause or allow my sons to be deprived of their dad. I don't believe there is any higher meaning or purpose in that. Even if some positives can be found in my situation, they don't justify it.
I'm not anti-religion. I was raised Episcopalian and even was an acolyte (altar boy). I did have an angry atheist phase in adolescence, like many people. I became a more mellow agnostic in adulthood, in part due to conversations with my college roommate Curt Chase and his then-girlfriend now-wife Lisa, both people of sincere faith. I still can't take religion literally. It seems obvious to me that mankind created gods, and not the reverse. When people speak literally of a God, it sounds to me like defending the existence of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Invoking God as an explanation for anything, such as our existence, just replaces one mystery with another - so who created God? I don't think science can answer some basic questions either - why is there something instead of nothing? where did matter come from? what was before time?
I think religion has value. The community it provides can be very valuable. The moral framework it provides can also be valuable. I think the moral philosophy of Jesus Christ is incredibly admirable. The world would be a better place if more people, including many who call themselves Christians, actually practiced it. I have a problem with how Christianity has become claimed by conservatives in this country. I think Jesus was a liberal and if he were around today many conservatives would think he was a dangerous socialist hippie. I also have a problem with Christianity being used as a cover for discrimination, such as against LGBTQ people.
OK, I need to put Seth to bed.
Ethan
I'm not anti-religion. I was raised Episcopalian and even was an acolyte (altar boy). I did have an angry atheist phase in adolescence, like many people. I became a more mellow agnostic in adulthood, in part due to conversations with my college roommate Curt Chase and his then-girlfriend now-wife Lisa, both people of sincere faith. I still can't take religion literally. It seems obvious to me that mankind created gods, and not the reverse. When people speak literally of a God, it sounds to me like defending the existence of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Invoking God as an explanation for anything, such as our existence, just replaces one mystery with another - so who created God? I don't think science can answer some basic questions either - why is there something instead of nothing? where did matter come from? what was before time?
I think religion has value. The community it provides can be very valuable. The moral framework it provides can also be valuable. I think the moral philosophy of Jesus Christ is incredibly admirable. The world would be a better place if more people, including many who call themselves Christians, actually practiced it. I have a problem with how Christianity has become claimed by conservatives in this country. I think Jesus was a liberal and if he were around today many conservatives would think he was a dangerous socialist hippie. I also have a problem with Christianity being used as a cover for discrimination, such as against LGBTQ people.
OK, I need to put Seth to bed.
Ethan
Importance
My experience of being terminally ill has made some things seem less important to me, while other things have retained their importance.
Some things that seem less important now:
1. Money/finances. On April 15 (Tax Day) of last year I put $5000 in my retirement account (IRA). That was the last financial decision I've made. In May I was diagnosed and since then I really don't care about money/finances. I'm not claiming that money doesn't matter - it does. Being poor - really not having enough for your needs - is stressful and can make you unhappy. But being rich, research shows, does not make you happy. If I had millions of dollars now, I don't think I'd be any happier. If given a choice between health and wealth, I recommend health. As they say, you can't take money with you.
2. Politics/foreign affairs/most things in the news. I feel a little guilty about this, because I think many of these things are important, but when I read or hear about the latest squabble in the Senate or calamity overseas they seem very abstract. Perhaps that's because I feel rather powerless to change anything outside my immediate surroundings.
Some things that still seem important:
1. Love. Many people have argued that the meaning of life lies in love, and I agree. Loving others, and being loved, is the deepest and most meaningful experience available to us. When all else is stripped away, that remains.
2. Sports. I'm not claiming that sports matters in any deep sense. I just mean that sports has been a consolation to me. Playing sports, particularly basketball for me, makes exercise fun, and exercise is good for you mentally and physically. Watching and talking about sports is entertaining and can be a bonding experience, particularly for guys.
Speaking of sports, the first practice for Seth's YMCA basketball team is tomorrow morning. I am co-coaching his team, as I have for the past few years, with my friend Michael Parke, whose son Will is also on the team. The season runs until February 26 and gives me another thing to look forward to.
Ethan
Some things that seem less important now:
1. Money/finances. On April 15 (Tax Day) of last year I put $5000 in my retirement account (IRA). That was the last financial decision I've made. In May I was diagnosed and since then I really don't care about money/finances. I'm not claiming that money doesn't matter - it does. Being poor - really not having enough for your needs - is stressful and can make you unhappy. But being rich, research shows, does not make you happy. If I had millions of dollars now, I don't think I'd be any happier. If given a choice between health and wealth, I recommend health. As they say, you can't take money with you.
2. Politics/foreign affairs/most things in the news. I feel a little guilty about this, because I think many of these things are important, but when I read or hear about the latest squabble in the Senate or calamity overseas they seem very abstract. Perhaps that's because I feel rather powerless to change anything outside my immediate surroundings.
Some things that still seem important:
1. Love. Many people have argued that the meaning of life lies in love, and I agree. Loving others, and being loved, is the deepest and most meaningful experience available to us. When all else is stripped away, that remains.
2. Sports. I'm not claiming that sports matters in any deep sense. I just mean that sports has been a consolation to me. Playing sports, particularly basketball for me, makes exercise fun, and exercise is good for you mentally and physically. Watching and talking about sports is entertaining and can be a bonding experience, particularly for guys.
Speaking of sports, the first practice for Seth's YMCA basketball team is tomorrow morning. I am co-coaching his team, as I have for the past few years, with my friend Michael Parke, whose son Will is also on the team. The season runs until February 26 and gives me another thing to look forward to.
Ethan
The Seven Basic Elements
Seth was very positive about school today - the most positive he has ever been about any school he has attended. Lynn and I have dreamed about a day when Seth would actually like going to school. Perhaps it has finally arrived! (Knock on wood, no jinx.)
Jane and Al arrived this afternoon and we all took a walk. This past Wednesday they finished renovating and reopened the section of boardwalk at Boulevard Park, so now I can do my favorite loop walk again from the house to the Taylor Street boardwalk to Boulevard Park and back.
On the walk back Seth saw a screw on the ground and announced to me that he thought screws were one of the seven basic elements of life. I asked him what the others were and, after thinking about it, he came up with this list:
1. Screws
2. Dessert
3. Money
4. ATVs/dune buggies
5. Electric boxes/transformers
6. Plastic
7. Sewage
Jane and Al arrived this afternoon and we all took a walk. This past Wednesday they finished renovating and reopened the section of boardwalk at Boulevard Park, so now I can do my favorite loop walk again from the house to the Taylor Street boardwalk to Boulevard Park and back.
On the walk back Seth saw a screw on the ground and announced to me that he thought screws were one of the seven basic elements of life. I asked him what the others were and, after thinking about it, he came up with this list:
1. Screws
2. Dessert
3. Money
4. ATVs/dune buggies
5. Electric boxes/transformers
6. Plastic
7. Sewage
Some good things
Seth is starting at his new school, Montessori at Samish Woods, and he seems to like it so far (knock on wood). We are easing him in gradually with the goal of him attending full-time by the end of the month, if not before. The people at Samish Woods, particularly his teacher Jessica Tupper, have been really accommodating, supportive, and generally wonderful to Seth, Lynn, and me.
Our family friends Jane and Al are arriving this afternoon and departing Monday morning. I am looking forward to seeing them.
My mom is going back to Maine January 20-30. Although Grace and I will have to relearn how to feed ourselves, I'm glad my mom will get a break and get to see my dad and her friends in Maine.
Grace and I are planning to go to Hawaii February 4-11 - just the two of us! Grace's birthday is February 5. We are flying to Maui and staying at the Ka'anapali Beach Hotel. Grace made all the arrangements. I hope hope hope my health will cooperate.
Ethan
Our family friends Jane and Al are arriving this afternoon and departing Monday morning. I am looking forward to seeing them.
My mom is going back to Maine January 20-30. Although Grace and I will have to relearn how to feed ourselves, I'm glad my mom will get a break and get to see my dad and her friends in Maine.
Grace and I are planning to go to Hawaii February 4-11 - just the two of us! Grace's birthday is February 5. We are flying to Maui and staying at the Ka'anapali Beach Hotel. Grace made all the arrangements. I hope hope hope my health will cooperate.
Ethan
I'm fine
Grace was asked by a couple of people today whether it was true that I had been admitted to the hospital this week. Fortunately there is no truth to this rumor. I am not in the hospital. I am at home researching clinical trials.
Ethan
Ethan
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
A true story
I woke up in the middle of the night at Jonathan and Sarah's house. I had to get to the bathroom quickly. It's embarrassing to mention, but the chemo drugs and painkillers give me an unpleasant mix of painful constipation and alarming diarrhea. My nose was plugged with dried blood (the chemo drug Avastin causes bleeding, especially in the nose). I blew my nose to clear it, but then the blood starting running down my face, splattering in the sink, and running down my throat until I spit it back up. A wave of bone pain hit me, and I doubled over, rocking back and forth and waiting for it to pass. Finally I crept back to the bedroom.
I slipped into the bed that I was sharing with Seth. In his sleep he moved closer and cuddled against me. I put my arms around him. I smelled his hair. I felt peaceful and happy. I vowed to remember this time, this moment, this feeling. I will carry it with me.
I could feel his muscles twitching as he dreamed. Once he whimpered in his sleep. Later he laughed. I think there is no sound so pure, so innocent, so beautiful as a child laughing in his sleep. Especially your child, who you love with all your heart. Who you would gladly give your life to protect.
As I held his small warm body against mine, I could imagine how his body will grow. His shoulders will broaden, his legs will lengthen, his cheeks will roughen. He will be beautiful.
He breathes heavily, easily, face upturned, lips parted. He is part of me and yet alien. I can touch him but he drifts in his own dreamworld.
Ethan
I slipped into the bed that I was sharing with Seth. In his sleep he moved closer and cuddled against me. I put my arms around him. I smelled his hair. I felt peaceful and happy. I vowed to remember this time, this moment, this feeling. I will carry it with me.
I could feel his muscles twitching as he dreamed. Once he whimpered in his sleep. Later he laughed. I think there is no sound so pure, so innocent, so beautiful as a child laughing in his sleep. Especially your child, who you love with all your heart. Who you would gladly give your life to protect.
As I held his small warm body against mine, I could imagine how his body will grow. His shoulders will broaden, his legs will lengthen, his cheeks will roughen. He will be beautiful.
He breathes heavily, easily, face upturned, lips parted. He is part of me and yet alien. I can touch him but he drifts in his own dreamworld.
Ethan
Sorry!
I have fallen way behind on my correspondence. I have received many wonderful cards and emails, and I have not had the time and energy to respond to many of them yet. Please forgive me! I do appreciate every message and I am trying to catch up.
Ethan
Ethan
Back from SF, Part 3
On Saturday afternoon Sarah, Jonathan, Toby, Jacob, Seth, and I biked and scootered over to Upper Noe Valley Rec Center (where Eric and I used to play basketball sometimes) and played whiffleball. Seth showed off his skateboarding skills.
In the evening we drove over to Lindsay and Wally's new house in the Sunset district, near Ocean Beach, for a get-together with them & their kids Joe, Gus, and Annie; Michael & Hannah & their kids Henry, Frances, and Helen; and Jon & Miriam & their kids Gus and Ava. The kids rampaged (pillow fights, video games, pizza, ice cream, etc.) while the parents reminisced (Black Rock Desert trips, weddings, bachelor parties, etc.). Wally made two delicious lasagnas and Sarah and Miriam made delicious salads. Michael brought a case of fine wine but drank beer instead (as winemakers are wont to do).
I had a touching conversation with Miriam, who lost her mother to cancer last year. We talked about living and dying and love and children. I cried and felt connected. Thank you Miriam for your friendship!
On Sunday Seth and I went to Angela and Erik's house to celebrate their daughter Aurora's 5th birthday party. It was fun even though we didn't know anyone other than the hosts. Seth enjoyed playing on the trapeze in Aurora's room. Erik's mom made a yummy birthday cake. Angela was gracious and spent quite a bit of time with Seth and me considering how many other guests they had there. Seth impressed some of the city folk with stories of his time commercial fishing in Alaska.
In the afternoon Sarah, Jonathan, Toby, Jacob, Seth, and I walked up Bernal Hill. Although still chilly, it was sunny and clear with beautiful views around the Bay Area - Twin Peaks, the Golden Gate Bridge, downtown, the Bay Bridge, Mount Diablo, Candlestick Park, etc. We played touch football before retiring to Humphry Slocombe Ice Cream on Harrison at 24th, where they have very unusual flavors (http://www.humphryslocombe.com/%7C_Flavors_%7C.html). Seth and I settled on tame but tasty choices: Tahitian Vanilla and Dark Chocolate Sea Salt, respectively.
Back to Sarah and Jonathan's house, where we relaxed, watched NFL playoffs, and played games, including Lego Minotaurus, which I got Seth for Christmas and we liked so much that we got a copy for Toby and Jacob. Sarah made a delicious dinner. We toasted to friends and family.
On Monday we had to pack up and say goodbye. Seth was sad to leave. Jonathan and Sarah said that we are always welcome to come back. Toby and Jacob said that they wanted to visit Seth in Bellingham sometime.
Seth and I took BART to North Berkeley, where Tami and Dani picked us up and took us to lunch - yummy udon noodle soup (thanks Tami for lunch!). We picked up Tami's daughters Kate and Clara from their school, went back to Tami & Peter's house (unfortunately we missed Peter as he was at work), and played a little. Then Dani drove Seth and me to the Oakland airport (thanks Dani for the ride!), with a brief stop at Indian Rock, where we climbed to the top and admired the view of the bay.
In the evening we drove over to Lindsay and Wally's new house in the Sunset district, near Ocean Beach, for a get-together with them & their kids Joe, Gus, and Annie; Michael & Hannah & their kids Henry, Frances, and Helen; and Jon & Miriam & their kids Gus and Ava. The kids rampaged (pillow fights, video games, pizza, ice cream, etc.) while the parents reminisced (Black Rock Desert trips, weddings, bachelor parties, etc.). Wally made two delicious lasagnas and Sarah and Miriam made delicious salads. Michael brought a case of fine wine but drank beer instead (as winemakers are wont to do).
I had a touching conversation with Miriam, who lost her mother to cancer last year. We talked about living and dying and love and children. I cried and felt connected. Thank you Miriam for your friendship!
On Sunday Seth and I went to Angela and Erik's house to celebrate their daughter Aurora's 5th birthday party. It was fun even though we didn't know anyone other than the hosts. Seth enjoyed playing on the trapeze in Aurora's room. Erik's mom made a yummy birthday cake. Angela was gracious and spent quite a bit of time with Seth and me considering how many other guests they had there. Seth impressed some of the city folk with stories of his time commercial fishing in Alaska.
In the afternoon Sarah, Jonathan, Toby, Jacob, Seth, and I walked up Bernal Hill. Although still chilly, it was sunny and clear with beautiful views around the Bay Area - Twin Peaks, the Golden Gate Bridge, downtown, the Bay Bridge, Mount Diablo, Candlestick Park, etc. We played touch football before retiring to Humphry Slocombe Ice Cream on Harrison at 24th, where they have very unusual flavors (http://www.humphryslocombe.com/%7C_Flavors_%7C.html). Seth and I settled on tame but tasty choices: Tahitian Vanilla and Dark Chocolate Sea Salt, respectively.
Back to Sarah and Jonathan's house, where we relaxed, watched NFL playoffs, and played games, including Lego Minotaurus, which I got Seth for Christmas and we liked so much that we got a copy for Toby and Jacob. Sarah made a delicious dinner. We toasted to friends and family.
On Monday we had to pack up and say goodbye. Seth was sad to leave. Jonathan and Sarah said that we are always welcome to come back. Toby and Jacob said that they wanted to visit Seth in Bellingham sometime.
Seth and I took BART to North Berkeley, where Tami and Dani picked us up and took us to lunch - yummy udon noodle soup (thanks Tami for lunch!). We picked up Tami's daughters Kate and Clara from their school, went back to Tami & Peter's house (unfortunately we missed Peter as he was at work), and played a little. Then Dani drove Seth and me to the Oakland airport (thanks Dani for the ride!), with a brief stop at Indian Rock, where we climbed to the top and admired the view of the bay.
Back from SF, Part 2
After lunch at Tu Lan, Seth and I went to Jeffrey's Toys on Market St, another place that we have visited many times over the years. The first time we went there Seth got his P-61A "Black Widow" model airplane, which is still displayed on the shelf in his bedroom. On another visit we got Seth's first "Exo-Force" Legos - our favorite line of Legos, now sadly discontinued. This time Seth selected a cool "Space Police" Lego set, using red package Christmas money from Grace's parents and brother Greg (thank you to them!).
It was unusually cold in SF and I was getting tired, so we took a taxi to Sarah and Jonathan's house. Seth and I have visited SF many times since moving from there to Bellingham when Seth was 2 months old, and we have always stayed with Sarah and Jonathan and their sons Toby and Jacob. Their house feels almost like a second home to me now. They have opened their home to us and treated us like family. I will always be grateful for their generosity and friendship.
Seth fits right between Toby and Jacob in age and he enjoys playing with both of them. It makes me happy to see them playing together. I was talking to Jonathan about the fact that it feels important to me that my children know my friends' children. It feels tribal, as if I'm telling Seth "these are your people - you can trust these people." Especially since I may not always be there for him, I want him to know that others will be.
After Sarah and Jonathan and their boys got home, we celebrated Shabbat with candles, chips, ginger ale, and singing. JK got Mexican food from Cancun Taqueria on Mission St. I had a burrito al pastor - yum. After dinner JK entertained the boys by reading from a strange and silly book that my friend Eric sent Seth for Christmas. It's from McSweeney's press, involves giant squid, and the boys loved it.
http://store.mcsweeneys.net/index.cfm/fuseaction/catalog.detail/object_id/bebec4f0-abeb-40fc-821a-27baea82539c/AnimalsoftheOceaninParticulartheGiantSquid.cfm
Speaking of McSweeney's and Eric, they are publishing his new book "Donald" later this month, to coincide with the publication of Donald Rumsfeld's memoir "Known and Unknown."
http://store.mcsweeneys.net/index.cfm/fuseaction/catalog.detail/object_id/bca9a12b-c6c7-4d69-ab51-d66326acb980/Donald.cfm
"Donald" was mentioned in the New York Times and elsewhere recently!
http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/01/07/dueling-rumsfelds-novel-to-appear-on-same-day-as-memoir/
http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/stephen-elliott-on-donald-rumsfeld-hes-a-sympathetic-character_b20904
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jan/10/donald-rumsfeld-memoir-satire
Everyone agrees that Eric should be on "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" to talk about "Donald." If anyone knows how to make this happen, please do so or tell me how (I'm serious).
It was unusually cold in SF and I was getting tired, so we took a taxi to Sarah and Jonathan's house. Seth and I have visited SF many times since moving from there to Bellingham when Seth was 2 months old, and we have always stayed with Sarah and Jonathan and their sons Toby and Jacob. Their house feels almost like a second home to me now. They have opened their home to us and treated us like family. I will always be grateful for their generosity and friendship.
Seth fits right between Toby and Jacob in age and he enjoys playing with both of them. It makes me happy to see them playing together. I was talking to Jonathan about the fact that it feels important to me that my children know my friends' children. It feels tribal, as if I'm telling Seth "these are your people - you can trust these people." Especially since I may not always be there for him, I want him to know that others will be.
After Sarah and Jonathan and their boys got home, we celebrated Shabbat with candles, chips, ginger ale, and singing. JK got Mexican food from Cancun Taqueria on Mission St. I had a burrito al pastor - yum. After dinner JK entertained the boys by reading from a strange and silly book that my friend Eric sent Seth for Christmas. It's from McSweeney's press, involves giant squid, and the boys loved it.
http://store.mcsweeneys.net/index.cfm/fuseaction/catalog.detail/object_id/bebec4f0-abeb-40fc-821a-27baea82539c/AnimalsoftheOceaninParticulartheGiantSquid.cfm
Speaking of McSweeney's and Eric, they are publishing his new book "Donald" later this month, to coincide with the publication of Donald Rumsfeld's memoir "Known and Unknown."
http://store.mcsweeneys.net/index.cfm/fuseaction/catalog.detail/object_id/bca9a12b-c6c7-4d69-ab51-d66326acb980/Donald.cfm
"Donald" was mentioned in the New York Times and elsewhere recently!
http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/01/07/dueling-rumsfelds-novel-to-appear-on-same-day-as-memoir/
http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/stephen-elliott-on-donald-rumsfeld-hes-a-sympathetic-character_b20904
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jan/10/donald-rumsfeld-memoir-satire
Everyone agrees that Eric should be on "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" to talk about "Donald." If anyone knows how to make this happen, please do so or tell me how (I'm serious).
Back from San Francisco
Seth and I returned to Bellingham from the Bay Area last night. My mom picked us up at the Bellingham airport. She had a snack for Seth in the car and a yummy dinner waiting at home. Grace and Miles were also waiting at home. Miles had just taken a bath and smelled good when I hugged him.
It snowed while we were away and there is still snow and ice on the ground. We may get more snow tonight, depending on the temperature (currently 35 degrees).
It was a good trip but a hard one for me physically. Scheduling it right after chemo (I disconnected the chemo pump Thursday and we flew out Friday morning) may have been overly optimistic on my part. I felt tired and sick to my stomach a lot of the time. Feeling sick can make me crabby, but I tried to stay positive. I tried not to let Seth see that I wasn't feeling well, because I wanted him to enjoy the trip. This trip was really for him as much as or more than for me. He wanted to go to San Francisco and visit Toby and Jacob, although I certainly liked the idea too. And I think Seth did have a good time. With everything going on in his life, it was good to see him having fun and seeming like his normal self, just being a kid.
We flew into Oakland and took BART to downtown San Francisco. We had lunch at Tu Lan, a Vietnamese dive on seedy 6th St that I like. It's the same as always - narrow, crowded, noisy, waiters and cooks yelling to each other, sizzling sounds and clouds of steam from the tiny open kitchen behind the counter. I recognize some of the people working there. Cheap huge portions. Men elbow-to-elbow at the counter woofing them down. Faded positive reviews from Julia Child and Herb Caen in the front window. "Best of the Bay Guardian 1995" banner on the back wall. Long menu in Vietnamese. I always point to the item with the longest name - it's noodles with BBQ pork and a spring roll on top. Good flavors intermixed - mint, peanut, scallion, etc. I can taste it now as I type. I have a picture of Seth eating at Tu Lan on my desk, from a visit to SF in June 2007, when he was 4, about to turn 5. Compare it to the picture I took on this visit:
It snowed while we were away and there is still snow and ice on the ground. We may get more snow tonight, depending on the temperature (currently 35 degrees).
It was a good trip but a hard one for me physically. Scheduling it right after chemo (I disconnected the chemo pump Thursday and we flew out Friday morning) may have been overly optimistic on my part. I felt tired and sick to my stomach a lot of the time. Feeling sick can make me crabby, but I tried to stay positive. I tried not to let Seth see that I wasn't feeling well, because I wanted him to enjoy the trip. This trip was really for him as much as or more than for me. He wanted to go to San Francisco and visit Toby and Jacob, although I certainly liked the idea too. And I think Seth did have a good time. With everything going on in his life, it was good to see him having fun and seeming like his normal self, just being a kid.
We flew into Oakland and took BART to downtown San Francisco. We had lunch at Tu Lan, a Vietnamese dive on seedy 6th St that I like. It's the same as always - narrow, crowded, noisy, waiters and cooks yelling to each other, sizzling sounds and clouds of steam from the tiny open kitchen behind the counter. I recognize some of the people working there. Cheap huge portions. Men elbow-to-elbow at the counter woofing them down. Faded positive reviews from Julia Child and Herb Caen in the front window. "Best of the Bay Guardian 1995" banner on the back wall. Long menu in Vietnamese. I always point to the item with the longest name - it's noodles with BBQ pork and a spring roll on top. Good flavors intermixed - mint, peanut, scallion, etc. I can taste it now as I type. I have a picture of Seth eating at Tu Lan on my desk, from a visit to SF in June 2007, when he was 4, about to turn 5. Compare it to the picture I took on this visit:
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Thanks!
Some of my friends chipped in and sent me a t-shirt and mug with a design of our faces wearing funny wigs. The design was done by our friend Hannah Henry (http://www.hannahhenry.com/). I don't know whose picture looks the funniest - Jon Burke (upper left) makes a pretty fine woman, although not as fine as our beauty queen Lindsay Anderson (now Lindsay Sablosky, lower right, actual debutante photo).
A little tired today. Hiccups from the Emend.
Ethan
A little tired today. Hiccups from the Emend.
Ethan
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Hail the Cardinal!
Monday was a good day. Played basketball (three full court games, went 2-1). Ran errands, which felt productive. My friends Dave, Larry, and Allan came over in the evening to watch Stanford beat Virginia Tech 40-12 in the Orange Bowl. Stanford will finish in the top 5 for the first time since 1940. However, they may lose both their coach Jim Harbaugh (to the SF 49ers, Denver Broncos, or University of Michigan - his alma mater) and their star QB Andrew Luck (who the Carolina Panthers have already announced they will take with their #1 pick if he enters the NFL draft rather than returning to Stanford - c'mon, Andrew, Jake Locker returned to UW and it only cost him millions of dollars as his draft stock fell while risking career-ending injury - but he won a bowl game! oh right, you just did that...).
Chemo today, so not much interesting to report. I feel OK so far (knock on wood), although my stomach feels a little funky and I can feel my throat getting hoarse.
Ethan
Chemo today, so not much interesting to report. I feel OK so far (knock on wood), although my stomach feels a little funky and I can feel my throat getting hoarse.
Ethan
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Health update
I have felt pretty good the past five days or so (knock on wood), with no real problems other than the constant nosebleeds (a side effect of the chemo drug Avastin). But in the past couple of days my bone pain has increased, probably because I took an extra third week off from chemo to enjoy my family's time together for Christmas and New Year's (which I did enjoy and don't regret at all). I have chemo again this Tuesday, so I will be wearing the chemo pump until Thursday, and I hope that will knock the cancer back a bit. Otherwise I might need to increase my pain medication from the current 25-microgram Fentanyl patch. At this point I feel like I can tell where the cancer is at from the bone pain, without even needing the CEA numbers or PET scans. I am getting resigned to the fact that I am probably not going to have any long periods of remission, unless some other treatment regimen works much better than this one. The cancer I have seems to spread pretty aggressively soon after stopping treatment. Once the FOLFIRI chemo drug combination stops working, which I'm told it will eventually as the cancer adapts, the next step will probably be a chemo cocktail called FOLFOX, which is basically the same with one drug substitution: oxaliplatin for irinotecan. Those are basically the only treatment options for metastatic colon cancer (there is another one, but it's not expected to work for me because I am apparently a KRAS genetic mutant), unlike some other cancers such as breast cancer which get more attention and have more treatment options (I got a glimpse of the unfortunate politics of cancer research when my Seattle oncologist was discussing his frustration with the difficulty of getting attention for colorectal cancer - as one of my friends said: "Who wants to wear a brown ribbon?"). After FOLFIRI and FOLFOX, I am looking into some clinical trials of newer experimental treatments, with the help of Dr. Mark Renneker in San Francisco (referred to me by Jonathan and Sarah). The problem with most of those is that they would require me to travel to a research site in some other part of the country, and I don't really want to spend a lot of my limited remaining time in Evanston, Illinois or some other random place far from family and my sons in particular.
Speaking of Jonathan and Sarah and travel, I am planning to fly down to San Francisco with Seth this Friday through Monday (January 7-10) and stay with Jonathan and Sarah. Seth asked me if we could visit them and their sons Toby and Jacob and this is our only chance before his basketball season at the YMCA begins the following weekend (I will be co-coaching his team again with my friend Michael Parke, whose son Will will also be on the team). I am really hoping that I will feel OK after the chemo this week; I would hate to have to cancel this trip on short notice. We'll see.
In general, I really hope I will tolerate the chemo and any other subsequent treatments reasonably well, because I have a goal to return to work in the spring quarter, which begins in late March. My main worry is fatigue, which has been manageable lately but which may get worse over time as the chemo toxicity accumulates in the body.
Ethan
Speaking of Jonathan and Sarah and travel, I am planning to fly down to San Francisco with Seth this Friday through Monday (January 7-10) and stay with Jonathan and Sarah. Seth asked me if we could visit them and their sons Toby and Jacob and this is our only chance before his basketball season at the YMCA begins the following weekend (I will be co-coaching his team again with my friend Michael Parke, whose son Will will also be on the team). I am really hoping that I will feel OK after the chemo this week; I would hate to have to cancel this trip on short notice. We'll see.
In general, I really hope I will tolerate the chemo and any other subsequent treatments reasonably well, because I have a goal to return to work in the spring quarter, which begins in late March. My main worry is fatigue, which has been manageable lately but which may get worse over time as the chemo toxicity accumulates in the body.
Ethan
Suddenly quiet house
I haven't blogged much this past week, other than posting pictures, because my sister Rachel's family was here and I wanted to focus on visiting with them. But they left last night to go home to Rochester after a week-long visit and my dad just left tonight to go home to Maine after a 3.5-week visit. I will miss them of course, but it was great to have my family here for Christmas and New Year's.
My sister's family got a range of Bellingham winter weather: warm the first day, then windy and stormy, a little snow, then cold but clear and sunny. It worked out well for them to have their own house only two blocks from our house. We got into a nice routine with walks in the morning and hanging out in the afternoon and evening.
On Friday we drove up to Vancouver and visited the aquarium. My sister pointed out that the closest major cities for both of our families are Canadian: Toronto and Vancouver. I got New Year's messages from my friends Eric and Michael but we were all asleep here before midnight.
On Saturday we took a nice walk at Point Whitehorn through woods to a beach. It was a beautiful day: sunny, clear, and calm. Seth built a fort out of driftwood and he, Miles, and I all got in it. In a field adjacent to the parking area we saw a guy take off and land in an ultralight aircraft with a parasail wing. Lunch at La Fiamma wood fire pizza. Seth and I did a Sudoku in record time. In the afternoon our friends John and Kim and their daughter Nora came over to watch college football and hang out. We had a nice family dinner before Rachel and her family had to leave for the airport. At one point I got to cuddle on the couch with all four boys (my two sons and two nephews), which felt really good. Seth, my mom, and I watched "The Secret of Kells" DVD. Seth and I snuggled during the night. A very good day.
Some pics: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2202
This morning my dad, Seth, and I walked down to Fairhaven with our beloved neighbor Gene and had breakfast at the Harris Ave Cafe. Then my mom, my dad, Seth, and I drove up Mount Baker Highway and stopped at the Deming Eagle Park (we saw some bald eagles and a red-tailed hawk) and the new Maple Creek Park in Maple Falls (we got a little lost but made it out eventually). This evening I got to cuddle on the couch with Miles and Seth, which made me happy.
Ethan
My sister's family got a range of Bellingham winter weather: warm the first day, then windy and stormy, a little snow, then cold but clear and sunny. It worked out well for them to have their own house only two blocks from our house. We got into a nice routine with walks in the morning and hanging out in the afternoon and evening.
On Friday we drove up to Vancouver and visited the aquarium. My sister pointed out that the closest major cities for both of our families are Canadian: Toronto and Vancouver. I got New Year's messages from my friends Eric and Michael but we were all asleep here before midnight.
On Saturday we took a nice walk at Point Whitehorn through woods to a beach. It was a beautiful day: sunny, clear, and calm. Seth built a fort out of driftwood and he, Miles, and I all got in it. In a field adjacent to the parking area we saw a guy take off and land in an ultralight aircraft with a parasail wing. Lunch at La Fiamma wood fire pizza. Seth and I did a Sudoku in record time. In the afternoon our friends John and Kim and their daughter Nora came over to watch college football and hang out. We had a nice family dinner before Rachel and her family had to leave for the airport. At one point I got to cuddle on the couch with all four boys (my two sons and two nephews), which felt really good. Seth, my mom, and I watched "The Secret of Kells" DVD. Seth and I snuggled during the night. A very good day.
Some pics: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2202
This morning my dad, Seth, and I walked down to Fairhaven with our beloved neighbor Gene and had breakfast at the Harris Ave Cafe. Then my mom, my dad, Seth, and I drove up Mount Baker Highway and stopped at the Deming Eagle Park (we saw some bald eagles and a red-tailed hawk) and the new Maple Creek Park in Maple Falls (we got a little lost but made it out eventually). This evening I got to cuddle on the couch with Miles and Seth, which made me happy.
Ethan
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