Congratulations to my cousin Annie, who is expecting her second child! It's amazing to me that Annie, who I can still see as a goofy cute blonde toddler, is a grown woman, with a nice husband and kids and everything. Their baby is due June 26, near my birthday of June 28.
Ethan
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Update, basketball
Met with my oncologist Nestor this afternoon. He said I shouldn't freak out too much about the increased CEA number because it's too soon to tell whether the chemo is working and may bring that number back down. I have chemo tomorrow afternoon. I hate the chemo. It feels like going to your own execution - except they don't kill you, just make you really sick and then send you home. And the people are very nice and cheerful.
To make myself feel better, I played basketball yesterday and today. Two games of full court yesterday and about four games of half court today. I'm tired now, but the part of my tiredness that's from basketball is a good tired. I figured I should play while I have the chance, since I will be wearing the gross chemo pump for the next few days.
I used to be pretty quick on the court. Not Chris Stark quick, but pretty good for our game (Chris is the fastest guy in our game). But now I am soo slooow. I'll go into a move that used to work well, and halfway through I'm thinking: this is taking a long time, and it's not working so well, as the defenders go and get a drink and come back. And I used to have pretty good hops. In my 20s, before my knee surgeries, I could dunk - not bad for a 6'2" white guy. But now any rebounds I get are due to position, not height off the floor. I have to "do my work early," as they say (work to get good position before the ball goes up).
But speaking of quick and hops, Lucky Tedrow was on a tear today. He drained his first three three-pointers. When he got the ball again, he pump-faked his defender into the air and drove around him. With a mighty grunt he launched himself from just inside the foul line. As he soared through the air he adjusted the velcro flaps on his snazzy shoes, just before slamming the ball through the hoop, hanging on the rim, and inviting his erstwhile defender to taste his salty nuts. Personally I thought that was a bit much, but if I could make that play I suppose I'd talk some smack too.
But seriously, I have felt very supported by our little basketball community. A lot of the players have let me know in little ways that they know about my situation and they're pulling for me, which I appreciate.
As my friend Eric and I have talked about (and he wrote about in his excellent novel "Winners," which I highly recommend http://www.amazon.com/Winners-Eric-B-Martin/dp/1596921617 - perfect for every Christmas stocking!), pickup basketball friendships are a funny thing. Most of these guys I rarely see off the court. And yet in some ways we are close - for the past 8 years I have sweated, competed, collided, argued, made up, high-fived, and celebrated with them.
Ethan
To make myself feel better, I played basketball yesterday and today. Two games of full court yesterday and about four games of half court today. I'm tired now, but the part of my tiredness that's from basketball is a good tired. I figured I should play while I have the chance, since I will be wearing the gross chemo pump for the next few days.
I used to be pretty quick on the court. Not Chris Stark quick, but pretty good for our game (Chris is the fastest guy in our game). But now I am soo slooow. I'll go into a move that used to work well, and halfway through I'm thinking: this is taking a long time, and it's not working so well, as the defenders go and get a drink and come back. And I used to have pretty good hops. In my 20s, before my knee surgeries, I could dunk - not bad for a 6'2" white guy. But now any rebounds I get are due to position, not height off the floor. I have to "do my work early," as they say (work to get good position before the ball goes up).
But speaking of quick and hops, Lucky Tedrow was on a tear today. He drained his first three three-pointers. When he got the ball again, he pump-faked his defender into the air and drove around him. With a mighty grunt he launched himself from just inside the foul line. As he soared through the air he adjusted the velcro flaps on his snazzy shoes, just before slamming the ball through the hoop, hanging on the rim, and inviting his erstwhile defender to taste his salty nuts. Personally I thought that was a bit much, but if I could make that play I suppose I'd talk some smack too.
But seriously, I have felt very supported by our little basketball community. A lot of the players have let me know in little ways that they know about my situation and they're pulling for me, which I appreciate.
As my friend Eric and I have talked about (and he wrote about in his excellent novel "Winners," which I highly recommend http://www.amazon.com/Winners-Eric-B-Martin/dp/1596921617 - perfect for every Christmas stocking!), pickup basketball friendships are a funny thing. Most of these guys I rarely see off the court. And yet in some ways we are close - for the past 8 years I have sweated, competed, collided, argued, made up, high-fived, and celebrated with them.
Ethan
Monday, November 29, 2010
Yikes
This morning I got the results from my blood test from last Wednesday 11/24. The good news: my white blood cell, red blood cell, and platelet numbers were all good, in the low normal range. The very bad news: my CEA has shot up to 23.1 (from 5.0 on 11/3 and 1.1 on 10/13 - higher indicates more cancer activity). I meet with my local oncologist tomorrow (Tuesday) afternoon and my second-opinion oncologist in Seattle next Tuesday 12/7, so I'm sure we'll discuss the implications of this. Through a connection provided by JK, I have also started talking to a doctor in San Francisco who is a sort of private medical investigator for hire. He has given me some ideas about possible backup treatment options.
Ethan
Ethan
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Harrison Hot Springs
Grace, Miles, Grandma Kathy, and I just returned from a very relaxing weekend at the Harrison Hot Springs Resort in BC. I had never been there before but I would be happy to go back anytime. Thanks to Grandma Kathy for making the arrangements and treating us to a nice mini-vacation.
We drove up Friday afternoon. The drive reminded me of the annual Memorial Day camping trips that Seth and I have taken to Chilliwack Lake (in the same area of BC) with Lana Frazier and her group of friends. After checking into the resort, we wasted no time in trying out the pools heated with hot springs water. There are five pools (outdoor family pool, outdoor adult pool, outdoor lap pool, indoor pool, indoor hot tub), as well as steam rooms and a spa. The hot springs are supposed to have natural healing powers, and they certainly made me feel better. That evening we enjoyed a very nice dinner at the resort's "Copper Room." Miles was mesmerized by the live jazz band and even danced a little.
The next morning we took a walk along the lakefront. The weather was mostly overcast while we were there, but the mist on the hillsides and the occasional glimpses of snow-covered mountains were very pretty. More soaking in the hot pools ensued. In the afternoon I took another walk along the lake in the other direction. We had dinner at a Thai restaurant with a friendly proprietor. We were so cooled out from our hot soaks that the adults struggled to stay awake as long as Miles.
More eating, walks, and soaks this morning before we had to leave our little hot springs paradise and return to reality and the U.S.A.
Miles enjoyed the hot pools but his favorite activity may have been pretending to call Grandpa Chuck on the phone in the hotel room, which he did approximately 1,000 times. His simulated conversations with Grandpa Chuck were quite cute. Miles claims that he misses Grandpa Chuck about 100 times daily. The rest of us are eager for Grandpa Chuck to arrive here (on December 10) so we can stop hearing about it. :-)
Pics from the trip: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2008
A video from the trip (scroll down to the bottom of the page for the link): http://myweb.facstaff.wwu.edu/remmele/miles
Ethan
We drove up Friday afternoon. The drive reminded me of the annual Memorial Day camping trips that Seth and I have taken to Chilliwack Lake (in the same area of BC) with Lana Frazier and her group of friends. After checking into the resort, we wasted no time in trying out the pools heated with hot springs water. There are five pools (outdoor family pool, outdoor adult pool, outdoor lap pool, indoor pool, indoor hot tub), as well as steam rooms and a spa. The hot springs are supposed to have natural healing powers, and they certainly made me feel better. That evening we enjoyed a very nice dinner at the resort's "Copper Room." Miles was mesmerized by the live jazz band and even danced a little.
The next morning we took a walk along the lakefront. The weather was mostly overcast while we were there, but the mist on the hillsides and the occasional glimpses of snow-covered mountains were very pretty. More soaking in the hot pools ensued. In the afternoon I took another walk along the lake in the other direction. We had dinner at a Thai restaurant with a friendly proprietor. We were so cooled out from our hot soaks that the adults struggled to stay awake as long as Miles.
More eating, walks, and soaks this morning before we had to leave our little hot springs paradise and return to reality and the U.S.A.
Miles enjoyed the hot pools but his favorite activity may have been pretending to call Grandpa Chuck on the phone in the hotel room, which he did approximately 1,000 times. His simulated conversations with Grandpa Chuck were quite cute. Miles claims that he misses Grandpa Chuck about 100 times daily. The rest of us are eager for Grandpa Chuck to arrive here (on December 10) so we can stop hearing about it. :-)
Pics from the trip: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2008
A video from the trip (scroll down to the bottom of the page for the link): http://myweb.facstaff.wwu.edu/remmele/miles
Ethan
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Story
I have spent a lot of time lately wandering the tunnels of my memory. One story stuck in my head, perhaps because it has been so cold here lately.
The last night of our Alaska trek last August, we camped on a windswept plateau where the bush plane was to pick us up the next day. This was our guide's last trip of the season, and his tents were really summer tents, not ideal for early fall in the high backcountry of Alaska. The wind whipped through the mesh sides of the tents, and the temperature dropped below freezing that night. Seth and I shared a tent, and during the night Seth got out of his sleeping bag and into mine. Although we were squeezed in my mummy bag, I was happy to have his body warmth. However, Seth kept moving lower in the bag, seeking warmth, and I was worried that he was going to smother, so I kept unzipping the bag more so he could breathe, whereupon he would move lower in the bag. Eventually I had the bag unzipped to my waist and I was colder than when he arrived. Nevertheless, it's a happy memory, because I was with Seth and I love him so much. My love for him feels like a bright hot granite fire in my chest.
I wish that I would have the chance to do more camping with Seth and Miles. I would like to foster in them my love for the outdoors.
Ethan
The last night of our Alaska trek last August, we camped on a windswept plateau where the bush plane was to pick us up the next day. This was our guide's last trip of the season, and his tents were really summer tents, not ideal for early fall in the high backcountry of Alaska. The wind whipped through the mesh sides of the tents, and the temperature dropped below freezing that night. Seth and I shared a tent, and during the night Seth got out of his sleeping bag and into mine. Although we were squeezed in my mummy bag, I was happy to have his body warmth. However, Seth kept moving lower in the bag, seeking warmth, and I was worried that he was going to smother, so I kept unzipping the bag more so he could breathe, whereupon he would move lower in the bag. Eventually I had the bag unzipped to my waist and I was colder than when he arrived. Nevertheless, it's a happy memory, because I was with Seth and I love him so much. My love for him feels like a bright hot granite fire in my chest.
I wish that I would have the chance to do more camping with Seth and Miles. I would like to foster in them my love for the outdoors.
Ethan
Thanksgiving
I am thankful for my beautiful sons Seth and Miles. I am thankful for Grace and her love and support. I am thankful for my family, and especially my mom for all her help. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful that I was able to go to San Francisco and North Carolina while I was feeling relatively good and spend time with my friends there. I am thankful that my dad and my sister and her family are coming here for Christmas. I hope I will be feeling OK then.
I am not thankful for some things. I am not thankful to be terminally ill at age 41. I'm not going to lie; it stinks. There are a lot of things I would still like to do, and I'm probably not going to be able to do most of them. That makes me really sad. I am most sad about not being there for my sons. They deserve to have their dad.
However, I still have my sons for now and they still have me. This afternoon I was cuddling with Miles and he was stroking my face (he likes to feel my whiskers) and he said "I love you so much." I know he is repeating what Grace and I say to him, but it was still very sweet.
The past couple of days Seth has come over to visit in the afternoon. I have been a little reluctant to have him visit when I am not feeling well, because I don't like him to see me sick, but I have found that seeing him actually makes me feel better, and it hasn't seemed to bother him. Yesterday he made me a beautiful drawing of a sailing ship. The picture says "To Daddy" and the flag flying from the ship's mast says "I hope you are Happy" and the name on the ship's bow is "Happy" and the fish in the water have smiley faces and the sun and clouds have smiley faces and there is a rainbow in the sky. It brought tears of happiness to my eyes.
When Seth came over this afternoon, Miles was crying and upset about having to go to bed for his nap. Without any suggestion from me or anyone else, Seth comforted Miles until he stopped crying, read him a book, took him by the hand upstairs, and put him to bed. I was very impressed.
Ethan
I am not thankful for some things. I am not thankful to be terminally ill at age 41. I'm not going to lie; it stinks. There are a lot of things I would still like to do, and I'm probably not going to be able to do most of them. That makes me really sad. I am most sad about not being there for my sons. They deserve to have their dad.
However, I still have my sons for now and they still have me. This afternoon I was cuddling with Miles and he was stroking my face (he likes to feel my whiskers) and he said "I love you so much." I know he is repeating what Grace and I say to him, but it was still very sweet.
The past couple of days Seth has come over to visit in the afternoon. I have been a little reluctant to have him visit when I am not feeling well, because I don't like him to see me sick, but I have found that seeing him actually makes me feel better, and it hasn't seemed to bother him. Yesterday he made me a beautiful drawing of a sailing ship. The picture says "To Daddy" and the flag flying from the ship's mast says "I hope you are Happy" and the name on the ship's bow is "Happy" and the fish in the water have smiley faces and the sun and clouds have smiley faces and there is a rainbow in the sky. It brought tears of happiness to my eyes.
When Seth came over this afternoon, Miles was crying and upset about having to go to bed for his nap. Without any suggestion from me or anyone else, Seth comforted Miles until he stopped crying, read him a book, took him by the hand upstairs, and put him to bed. I was very impressed.
Ethan
Happy Thanksgiving
Ethan here. Thanks Grace for your update. Sorry that I haven't posted lately. I haven't felt well enough to write, and haven't had much to say other than I have felt crummy since the chemo last Thursday. Tired, sick to my stomach, mentally foggy, unable to concentrate, sad, discouraged. I haven't had the mental or physical energy to do much besides sit around and feel sorry for myself. The pain in my bones seemed to decrease right after the chemo, but has increased in the past few days. The oxycodone wasn't cutting it anymore, so this morning I put on a fentanyl patch for the first time in a long time. After feeling more like myself during my chemo break, I hate feeling like a sick invalid again.
The weather hasn't helped my mood. It's been unpleasantly cold, icy, and windy for the past week.
However, I'm feeling better right now. The temperature rose above freezing this afternoon, and the snow is starting to melt. We had a really nice Thanksgiving dinner tonight at the Bunns' house. Thank you to the Bunns (Andy, Rebecca, Sam, Eli, Micah, and Rebecca's mom Pat) for hosting us (Grace, Miles, my mom, and me).
Tomorrow Grace, Miles, my mom, and I are driving up to Harrison Hot Springs in BC through Sunday. Lynn and Seth are driving down to Portland OR to visit her friends Tram and Dom and their twin babies.
Ethan
The weather hasn't helped my mood. It's been unpleasantly cold, icy, and windy for the past week.
However, I'm feeling better right now. The temperature rose above freezing this afternoon, and the snow is starting to melt. We had a really nice Thanksgiving dinner tonight at the Bunns' house. Thank you to the Bunns (Andy, Rebecca, Sam, Eli, Micah, and Rebecca's mom Pat) for hosting us (Grace, Miles, my mom, and me).
Tomorrow Grace, Miles, my mom, and I are driving up to Harrison Hot Springs in BC through Sunday. Lynn and Seth are driving down to Portland OR to visit her friends Tram and Dom and their twin babies.
Ethan
Thanksgiving
Hi Everyone,
Guest blogger Grace here again. Even under difficult circumstances, on thisThanksgiving Day, we are thankful for friends and family, near and far, for their love and support. As I look out the window, it's a snowy and blustery scene. Beautiful, if not treacherous...but we're looking forward to dinner with the Bunns.
I am thankful for Kathy's presence here; I know it's hard for her to be away from the rest of her family, even under the best of circumstances. I am thankful for every additional day I get to spend with Ethan, and I am thankful for our beautiful kid Miles, who is so full of joy (even when he's testing my patience).
On a more serious note, Ethan had an infusion on the 18th. It had been about seven weeks since his last one, and I think his body is getting re-adjusted to the chemo...it has been kind of a rough week, lots of nausea and tiredness. Kathy and I just try to be here for him, and wish there was more we could do. Miles is always good for a laugh, though!
Happy Thanksgiving!
With love,
~Grace
Guest blogger Grace here again. Even under difficult circumstances, on thisThanksgiving Day, we are thankful for friends and family, near and far, for their love and support. As I look out the window, it's a snowy and blustery scene. Beautiful, if not treacherous...but we're looking forward to dinner with the Bunns.
I am thankful for Kathy's presence here; I know it's hard for her to be away from the rest of her family, even under the best of circumstances. I am thankful for every additional day I get to spend with Ethan, and I am thankful for our beautiful kid Miles, who is so full of joy (even when he's testing my patience).
On a more serious note, Ethan had an infusion on the 18th. It had been about seven weeks since his last one, and I think his body is getting re-adjusted to the chemo...it has been kind of a rough week, lots of nausea and tiredness. Kathy and I just try to be here for him, and wish there was more we could do. Miles is always good for a laugh, though!
Happy Thanksgiving!
With love,
~Grace
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Post-chemo report
Good news: I feel like the pain in my bones has lessened. Bad news: I feel low energy, mentally foggy, upset stomach, a little grumpy, and just generally like sitting around and doing nothing. So I built a fire and am watching football (Go Patriots!).
Ethan
Ethan
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Update
Yesterday I had lunch with my friend Fred Wagner. Fred's architecture firm is Grinstad & Wagner in Fairhaven (http://www.grinstadwagner.com/index.shtml). I first met Fred when he drew up the plans for the renovation of our house and then reconnected with him when his son Sean was in Seth's class at Larrabee Elementary School. He did a great job of designing additions that expanded the functionality of our house while preserving the character. If anyone ever needs an architect, I would highly recommend him. He's also a very nice guy.
In the afternoon Seth came with me to my appointment with my therapist. I think it was helpful for him and for me to talk about our feelings about my illness together. And we were able to clear up one misunderstanding of his: that my illness was related to our trip to Mexico in March (an example of the "post hoc ergo propter hoc" fallacy - reminds me of Gary Hertz's logic class in high school).
In the evening my mom and I finished the movie "Get Him to the Greek," which was moderately amusing.
Last night it snowed a couple of inches here. It is sunny and pretty but cold today. Seth and Miles went sledding.
I am feeling kind of blah today. Just having a quiet day around the house, watching college football. Wisconsin beat Michigan. Yale lost to Harvard. Stanford is currently crushing Cal (Go Cardinal!).
Ethan
In the afternoon Seth came with me to my appointment with my therapist. I think it was helpful for him and for me to talk about our feelings about my illness together. And we were able to clear up one misunderstanding of his: that my illness was related to our trip to Mexico in March (an example of the "post hoc ergo propter hoc" fallacy - reminds me of Gary Hertz's logic class in high school).
In the evening my mom and I finished the movie "Get Him to the Greek," which was moderately amusing.
Last night it snowed a couple of inches here. It is sunny and pretty but cold today. Seth and Miles went sledding.
I am feeling kind of blah today. Just having a quiet day around the house, watching college football. Wisconsin beat Michigan. Yale lost to Harvard. Stanford is currently crushing Cal (Go Cardinal!).
Ethan
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Another random thought about time
Another way to enjoy time is to not focus on the individual moments, in fact, to not focus on time at all, but only focus on the activity at hand. When you are completely engrossed in an activity (what psychologists call a "flow" state) you are just doing it (making Nike proud) and unaware of time. Basketball used to do that for me, which is one reason that I love it so much, and that it was very healthy for me mentally as well as physically. I would "wake up" at the end of a game and realize that I hadn't been thinking about my worries, my responsibilities, my endless to-do lists, etc. In fact, I hadn't even been thinking (self-consciously) about basketball - I was just playing it.
Basketball still does that for me, although awareness of my new physical limitations sometimes pulls me out of the flow state. And other activities work as well. Thinking about my North Carolina trip - when I was watching basketball with Eric, really watching intently, trying to see what was going to happen on each play before it happened - Eric and I sometimes simultaneously pointing toward the open man a second before he received (or sometimes didn't receive) the ball. I think of dinner with Eric and Meredith and their friends Jeff and Steph - interesting funny conversation over good food - I wasn't aware of being sick at all.
Ethan
Basketball still does that for me, although awareness of my new physical limitations sometimes pulls me out of the flow state. And other activities work as well. Thinking about my North Carolina trip - when I was watching basketball with Eric, really watching intently, trying to see what was going to happen on each play before it happened - Eric and I sometimes simultaneously pointing toward the open man a second before he received (or sometimes didn't receive) the ball. I think of dinner with Eric and Meredith and their friends Jeff and Steph - interesting funny conversation over good food - I wasn't aware of being sick at all.
Ethan
Grace
I think Grace is the most beautiful woman in the world. To be clear, my perception of attractiveness is a multiplicative factor of physical beauty and how much I like someone. Since Grace scores a 10 on both categories, she gets a perfect score of 100.
When Gary and I pulled up to the house late last night and Grace opened the door to greet us, she looked literally radiant to me. Light was shining from her. OK, maybe she was just backlit by the entry chandelier, but the effect was angelic. If angels were smoking hot.
Ethan
When Gary and I pulled up to the house late last night and Grace opened the door to greet us, she looked literally radiant to me. Light was shining from her. OK, maybe she was just backlit by the entry chandelier, but the effect was angelic. If angels were smoking hot.
Ethan
Today
Chemo was fine. Boring but not unpleasant. I feel fine tonight, although I have to tote the crappy little chemo pump for the next two days, like an evil Walkman (that only plays Poison? although "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" is a pretty excellent power ballad...).
Seth and his aunt Shannon (who is visiting from Milwaukee) came over tonight. It was really nice for me to watch Seth and Miles playing together happily. My mom made a nice dinner for all of us. I got to read books, sing songs, and cuddle with Miles at his bedtime.
My mom and I started watching the movie "Get Him to the Greek" but had to stop to watch "The Office." Good episode tonight, funny.
Happy Birthday to Linda, my sister-in-law!
Ethan
Seth and his aunt Shannon (who is visiting from Milwaukee) came over tonight. It was really nice for me to watch Seth and Miles playing together happily. My mom made a nice dinner for all of us. I got to read books, sing songs, and cuddle with Miles at his bedtime.
My mom and I started watching the movie "Get Him to the Greek" but had to stop to watch "The Office." Good episode tonight, funny.
Happy Birthday to Linda, my sister-in-law!
Ethan
Back in the City of Subdued Excitement
Meredith took me to the airport yesterday (thanks Mer!). My flight from Minneapolis to Seattle was delayed, so I missed my shuttle bus to Bellingham. Grace called her brother Gary, who is living in Seattle, and he picked me up and drove me all the way home to Bellingham, then turned around and drove back. Pretty gosh-darn nice, but typical of Grace's family in my experience. I'm glad that Miles will be exposed to their values of generosity and loyalty to family, and I hope that he absorbs them.
I got to cuddle with Miles this morning before he went to school. Now I am off to chemo with my indefatigable mom.
Pics from my NC trip: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/1972
Ethan
I got to cuddle with Miles this morning before he went to school. Now I am off to chemo with my indefatigable mom.
Pics from my NC trip: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/1972
Ethan
Ethan's back!
Ethan made it back to Bellingham late last night, thanks to my brother Gary. THANK YOU Gary for picking him up at Sea-Tac, then driving him all the way to Bellingham! Ethan had some great snuggle time with Miles this morning (they had quite a serious conversation about farm animals and zoo animals). And then FOLFIRI + Avastin infusion today...
Send lots of good thoughts and healing energy our way today!
~Grace
Send lots of good thoughts and healing energy our way today!
~Grace
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
A thought about time
Is a given period of time long or short? I think it depends on how you perceive it. A period of time that might seem short can actually seem long if you perceive it as many many individual distinct moments. That's how I sometimes make my time seem longer - by trying to be aware of each moment. When I feel good, or even just OK, this can make me feel better.
Ethan
Ethan
Update on my physical condition
The pain in my bones is getting slowly and gradually worse. I have near-constant dull pain that shifts around to different places, mostly hips and shoulders, arms and legs, and back. Last night I felt it in my left hand for the first time. I have sharp pain with certain movements, particularly in my left shoulder and right hip. My back has stiffened to where some movements are difficult, such as putting on socks or getting in and out of a car. The pain sometimes makes me tired and/or cranky. I can mask the pain with oxycodone pills so far, although I may need to put a fentanyl patch back on if the pain gets bad enough to prevent me from sleeping.
If left untreated, I would guess that I would become incapacitated by the pain and/or the painkillers before very long. That's why I am restarting the chemo. I want to be functional for my dad's visit in December and my sister's family's visit at Christmas.
I keep giving myself goals to shoot for. At first, I just wanted to make it to the Red Sox game in July. Then it was our Labor Day trip to Orcas Island. Then it was San Francisco, and then North Carolina. Now it's Christmas with my family. Then it would be to make it through Seth's basketball season at the YMCA. I'm reluctant to set longer-term goals because honestly I don't know that I will be able to reach them, and I don't want to feel disappointed.
Ethan
If left untreated, I would guess that I would become incapacitated by the pain and/or the painkillers before very long. That's why I am restarting the chemo. I want to be functional for my dad's visit in December and my sister's family's visit at Christmas.
I keep giving myself goals to shoot for. At first, I just wanted to make it to the Red Sox game in July. Then it was our Labor Day trip to Orcas Island. Then it was San Francisco, and then North Carolina. Now it's Christmas with my family. Then it would be to make it through Seth's basketball season at the YMCA. I'm reluctant to set longer-term goals because honestly I don't know that I will be able to reach them, and I don't want to feel disappointed.
Ethan
Last day in NC
Yesterday Eric and I went to the YMCA and played basketball. There was no pickup game to play in, so we shot around and played some one-on-one games (Pressure, Around the World, 21). It was fun, although it would have been more fun to play together on a team and run some of our old tricks. Thanks to Meredith for dropping us off and picking us up. Home for lunch, and a nap for me. In the later afternoon Eric's sister Abby and her son Elijah Lee and Eric's mom Joyce came over. Joyce stayed for dinner, as Eric made a delicious vegetable curry.
After dinner Eric and I went to the Duke basketball game against Miami of Ohio. We sat at center court, but high up. Later, after some people left, we moved down closer to the court. Eric's friend Steph and her son Cole were there and sat right behind the scorer's table next to the court. Duke shellacked the RedHawks 79-45, and only a late run by Miami made it that close. Duke was in second or third gear most of the game, and Miami couldn't get out of first. Even their own coach was laughing at their futility.
After the game, as we walked across campus, among the Gothic buildings, the night was warm and humid.
This morning I said goodbye to Joaquin and Lucy as they went off to school. I'm here with Eric and Mer now. By the way, thanks to Eric for taking time off work while I've been here, so we could have more time together. This afternoon I fly back to Bellingham, arriving late. Tomorrow morning I have chemo. I am going to do the FOLFIRI drug combo again, as my second-opinion oncologist confirmed that we may not have exhausted the efficacy of that combo, and the side effects of the other combo (FOLFOX) sound worse to me.
Ethan
After dinner Eric and I went to the Duke basketball game against Miami of Ohio. We sat at center court, but high up. Later, after some people left, we moved down closer to the court. Eric's friend Steph and her son Cole were there and sat right behind the scorer's table next to the court. Duke shellacked the RedHawks 79-45, and only a late run by Miami made it that close. Duke was in second or third gear most of the game, and Miami couldn't get out of first. Even their own coach was laughing at their futility.
After the game, as we walked across campus, among the Gothic buildings, the night was warm and humid.
This morning I said goodbye to Joaquin and Lucy as they went off to school. I'm here with Eric and Mer now. By the way, thanks to Eric for taking time off work while I've been here, so we could have more time together. This afternoon I fly back to Bellingham, arriving late. Tomorrow morning I have chemo. I am going to do the FOLFIRI drug combo again, as my second-opinion oncologist confirmed that we may not have exhausted the efficacy of that combo, and the side effects of the other combo (FOLFOX) sound worse to me.
Ethan
Monday, November 15, 2010
Random thought
I know it's easy to be unhappy about my health situation, but one way to think about it has helped me: were it not for the miracles of modern medicine, I would have died a horrible painful death back in May. So if you think about it that way, everything since then has been bonus time, gravy on the cake. And that includes a lot of good times and happy moments. So that's something to be thankful for, not sad about.
Ethan
Ethan
Durham day
This morning Eric, Mer, Lucy, and I took a nice walk along the Eno River in Eno State Park. The fall colors - yellows, oranges, reds - were very pretty. We had lunch at "Hog Heaven" - North Carolina-style BBQ. We came home and most of us, including me, took naps. In the late afternoon Eric, Joaquin, and I took a bike ride on a nice paved path - a converted railroad spur. Babysitter for Joaquin and Lucy, and Eric, Mer, and I met their friends Jeff and Steph for dinner at a gastropub called Federal. We walked home. The night was warm and still.
Ethan
Ethan
Monday morning
Yesterday we (Eric, Mer, Joaquin, Lucy, and I) had lunch with Abby, Mike, Elijah Lee, and Joyce (thanks Joyce for lunch!). In the late afternoon Eric and I went over to Duke and walked through campus on the way to Cameron Indoor Stadium. Cameron is full of memorabilia and posters about the successes of Duke athletics, particularly basketball. We saw Eric's friend Jeff and his son Cole there. Our seats were pretty high up in the rafters, but Cameron is so small that we weren't that far from the court and could see perfectly well. The Duke student section is next to the court and fun to watch, with their chants and routines. As expected, Duke crushed Princeton (97-60). We got to see the leading Player of the Year candidate, Duke forward Kyle Singler, and one of the most-heralded freshmen in the country, Duke point guard Kyrie Irving, who has star written all over him.
This morning Eric, Lucy, and I walked with Joaquin to his school. Now Eric is playing Uno with Lucy, who is home on Mondays.
Ethan
This morning Eric, Lucy, and I walked with Joaquin to his school. Now Eric is playing Uno with Lucy, who is home on Mondays.
Ethan
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Good News
I'm in Durham NC. The sky is blue (Duke blue?). Joaquin and Lucy are playing on the back deck with the neighbor's kid. Blues on the stereo. Eric's sister and mom are coming over for lunch. Eric and I are going to the Duke game tonight - the season opener! Eric got tickets from a friend of his. Whoo-hoo! I miss my people back in B'ham, but I'm happy to be here.
Ethan
Ethan
Friday, November 12, 2010
Bad News
We just got back from our appointment with Dr. Nestor. The PET scan results confirm what I suspected from the increased CEA number and the pain that I've been feeling in my bones for about a week. The PET scan showed renewed cancer activity in my bones in multiple locations. The activity level is lower than it was in June, when I was hospitalized, but much higher than it was in August, when it was almost undetectable. This is obviously disappointing but not surprising. We were hoping for a longer period of inactivity, but we only got about seven weeks since my last full chemo in late September. I'm not happy about this news, but I don't feel too bad, because I've been mentally preparing for this possibility all week, although of course hoping for better news. The Avastin only was obviously not sufficient to keep the cancer down, although who knows whether it would have cropped up again anyway if I had continued with the full chemo regimen. But I don't feel that was really an option anyway, because the fatigue had become so bad that it was really pointless to continue. So I'm perfectly at peace with my decisions. I was able to take and enjoy my trip to San Francisco, which was really wonderful. I think of it happily pretty much every day.
I am still planning to take my trip to North Carolina, leaving tomorrow (Saturday) and returning late Wednesday. I will bring plenty of pain meds and it should be fine. I'm not worried about it. I'm just glad I decided to go sooner rather than later. I will see my best friend Eric and his wife Meredith and their kids Joaquin and Lucy and Eric's sister Abby and her husband Mike and their son Elijah and Eric's mom Joyce (his dad Joel is working in Prague). Eric and I have tickets to the Duke game against Miami of Ohio (where my former master's student Joel is now getting his PhD) on Tuesday night. We may also try to get tickets to their game against Princeton on Sunday night (their season opener). Duke will probably crush both opponents, but I'm looking forward to witnessing the atmosphere at Cameron. There aren't many teams that would be competitive with Duke (ranked #1 in the preseason, defending national champs, and arguably more talented this season).
In other news, the Parkes (Michael, Teresa, and their son Will) came over last night for dinner and to watch the Celtics (who beat the Heat in Miami). Michael is also a Celtics fan. I am planning (hoping) to co-coach basketball with Michael at the YMCA again this January and February. Will and Seth will be on the team again. My mom made a delicious Indian dinner for us all. I gave Seth the gift I got him in San Francisco - a kit with which you can make various solar-powered contraptions. Seth and Will had fun building with that. I also gave Seth the iPad which my friends Deepak and Shareen very generously gave him. I loaded Labyrinth and a race car app on it and Seth enjoyed those.
Today I played basketball at the university - three games of full court. I played full court Monday, Wednesday, and Friday this week, which would be a good week even before my illness. I rewarded myself with a Acai smoothie, as I usually do.
Unfortunately, I may not be able to enjoy smoothies much longer. Dr. Nestor recommended that I try the FOLFOX chemo regimen. One of the side effects is peripheral neuropathy (numbness, tingling, and/or burning sensation in extremities) and painful sensitivity to cold, including cold beverages. I haven't decided whether I want to do that. I will take the weekend to think about it.
Miles has been very fun to cuddle with this week.
OK, I'm going to eat dinner and then go play poker - that should be fun and take my mind off things.
Ethan
I am still planning to take my trip to North Carolina, leaving tomorrow (Saturday) and returning late Wednesday. I will bring plenty of pain meds and it should be fine. I'm not worried about it. I'm just glad I decided to go sooner rather than later. I will see my best friend Eric and his wife Meredith and their kids Joaquin and Lucy and Eric's sister Abby and her husband Mike and their son Elijah and Eric's mom Joyce (his dad Joel is working in Prague). Eric and I have tickets to the Duke game against Miami of Ohio (where my former master's student Joel is now getting his PhD) on Tuesday night. We may also try to get tickets to their game against Princeton on Sunday night (their season opener). Duke will probably crush both opponents, but I'm looking forward to witnessing the atmosphere at Cameron. There aren't many teams that would be competitive with Duke (ranked #1 in the preseason, defending national champs, and arguably more talented this season).
In other news, the Parkes (Michael, Teresa, and their son Will) came over last night for dinner and to watch the Celtics (who beat the Heat in Miami). Michael is also a Celtics fan. I am planning (hoping) to co-coach basketball with Michael at the YMCA again this January and February. Will and Seth will be on the team again. My mom made a delicious Indian dinner for us all. I gave Seth the gift I got him in San Francisco - a kit with which you can make various solar-powered contraptions. Seth and Will had fun building with that. I also gave Seth the iPad which my friends Deepak and Shareen very generously gave him. I loaded Labyrinth and a race car app on it and Seth enjoyed those.
Today I played basketball at the university - three games of full court. I played full court Monday, Wednesday, and Friday this week, which would be a good week even before my illness. I rewarded myself with a Acai smoothie, as I usually do.
Unfortunately, I may not be able to enjoy smoothies much longer. Dr. Nestor recommended that I try the FOLFOX chemo regimen. One of the side effects is peripheral neuropathy (numbness, tingling, and/or burning sensation in extremities) and painful sensitivity to cold, including cold beverages. I haven't decided whether I want to do that. I will take the weekend to think about it.
Miles has been very fun to cuddle with this week.
OK, I'm going to eat dinner and then go play poker - that should be fun and take my mind off things.
Ethan
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Wednesday update
I had my PET scan this morning. I probably won't know anything about the results until our meeting with Dr. Nestor Friday afternoon. I'm glad to be done with the pre-PET scan diet (no sugar or carbs, just protein and water).
I biked to the university today and played basketball - one game of half court and two games of full court. I was matched up with Marko (the Croatian Sensation) twice and Tony once, both very good players, so that was a good challenge. I'm still soft, stiff, and slow, but it was fun.
On Monday after basketball I walked by the overlook by the student union that looks out over the bay. The view was especially dramatic that day. There was a dark storm cloud over the bay, and you could see rain falling from it in dark streaks. But it was sunny where I was, and you could see blue sky and big billowy white clouds beyond the storm cloud.
I've heard that overlook called the "$5,000 view" because supposedly that's where they take faculty recruits before telling them that their pay would be $5,000 less than at comparable institutions. In my case, it was the $26,000 view, because San Jose State had offered me $66,000 (still more than I make now), whereas my starting salary at WWU was around $40,000 (less than my first job out of college with Oracle). Still, I'm very happy with my decision. I've had a great experience at WWU, and with the psychology department in particular. I think we've managed to hire people who are not only very talented in their fields, but very nice people, which makes it a great place to work. And it was never about the money anyway - if it had been, I wouldn't have left tech. Being a professor gives you the freedom to pursue your own interests and largely set your own schedule. The currency of the realm is ideas, rather than money, and I like that.
Ethan
I biked to the university today and played basketball - one game of half court and two games of full court. I was matched up with Marko (the Croatian Sensation) twice and Tony once, both very good players, so that was a good challenge. I'm still soft, stiff, and slow, but it was fun.
On Monday after basketball I walked by the overlook by the student union that looks out over the bay. The view was especially dramatic that day. There was a dark storm cloud over the bay, and you could see rain falling from it in dark streaks. But it was sunny where I was, and you could see blue sky and big billowy white clouds beyond the storm cloud.
I've heard that overlook called the "$5,000 view" because supposedly that's where they take faculty recruits before telling them that their pay would be $5,000 less than at comparable institutions. In my case, it was the $26,000 view, because San Jose State had offered me $66,000 (still more than I make now), whereas my starting salary at WWU was around $40,000 (less than my first job out of college with Oracle). Still, I'm very happy with my decision. I've had a great experience at WWU, and with the psychology department in particular. I think we've managed to hire people who are not only very talented in their fields, but very nice people, which makes it a great place to work. And it was never about the money anyway - if it had been, I wouldn't have left tech. Being a professor gives you the freedom to pursue your own interests and largely set your own schedule. The currency of the realm is ideas, rather than money, and I like that.
Ethan
PET scan
Hi Everyone,
Send lots of positive thoughts our way today; Ethan and Kathy are at Mt. Baker Imaging now for E's PET scan.
~Grace
Send lots of positive thoughts our way today; Ethan and Kathy are at Mt. Baker Imaging now for E's PET scan.
~Grace
Monday, November 8, 2010
Good news/bad news again
Good news: today I biked to the university and played basketball - two games of full court. It was fun and I wasn't that tired afterward.
Bad news: I am starting to feel pain in my bones that reminds me of the pain I felt back in May and June when I was hospitalized. It isn't that bad yet, but I can feel it in several places. I was woken up last night around 12:30 am by a sharp pain in my right femur. I took an oxycodone for the pain, not realizing that it would keep me from sleeping, so I was up most of the rest of the night.
I have a PET scan on Wednesday morning. It takes at least a day to get the results. I meet with Dr. Nestor late Friday afternoon, so I will probably get the results then. We will talk about them and the increase in my CEA blood marker. Needless to say, I am concerned about what the PET scan will show. We'll see. Let's hope for the best.
Ethan
Bad news: I am starting to feel pain in my bones that reminds me of the pain I felt back in May and June when I was hospitalized. It isn't that bad yet, but I can feel it in several places. I was woken up last night around 12:30 am by a sharp pain in my right femur. I took an oxycodone for the pain, not realizing that it would keep me from sleeping, so I was up most of the rest of the night.
I have a PET scan on Wednesday morning. It takes at least a day to get the results. I meet with Dr. Nestor late Friday afternoon, so I will probably get the results then. We will talk about them and the increase in my CEA blood marker. Needless to say, I am concerned about what the PET scan will show. We'll see. Let's hope for the best.
Ethan
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Weekend update
I felt a little tired and achy this weekend. On Saturday I watched Stanford beat Arizona to move up to #6 in the BCS standings (Go Cardinal!). That evening Grace and I saw the movie "Waiting for Superman" about public schools and education reform efforts in the U.S. On Sunday we had breakfast with Jane and Gene at the Harris Ave Cafe in Fairhaven. That afternoon we met the Bunn family at Zuanich Park on the waterfront and the boys (Seth, Miles, Sam, Eli, and Micah) played together.
My exciting news: I am going to visit Eric and Meredith in Durham NC this coming Saturday through Wednesday. I am looking forward to seeing them and their kids Joaquin and Lucy. Eric and I are planning to go to at least one Duke basketball game while I am there. I have always wanted to see a game at Cameron Indoor Stadium, Duke's famously small, loud, and crazy home court.
Ethan
My exciting news: I am going to visit Eric and Meredith in Durham NC this coming Saturday through Wednesday. I am looking forward to seeing them and their kids Joaquin and Lucy. Eric and I are planning to go to at least one Duke basketball game while I am there. I have always wanted to see a game at Cameron Indoor Stadium, Duke's famously small, loud, and crazy home court.
Ethan
Friday, November 5, 2010
Seth's loose tooth
Yesterday I biked to the university and played basketball again. Four games of half-court. In the afternoon we visited with Gene and his daughter Christina and her husband Josh and their three cute kids: Eli, Seth, and Ephraim (who is 8 months old and so super-cute that I wanted to steal him).
Today I spent the day with Seth and Lynn. We went out to Wasabee Sushi for dinner. Seth had trouble eating the sushi (his favorite food) because his top front tooth was so loose. After dinner, we went over to my house and Seth and Miles played together. Finally Seth popped out his loose tooth. He was happy and proud about it. A couple of pics (warning: the pics are a little gross): http://remmel.shutterfly.com/1969
Ethan
Today I spent the day with Seth and Lynn. We went out to Wasabee Sushi for dinner. Seth had trouble eating the sushi (his favorite food) because his top front tooth was so loose. After dinner, we went over to my house and Seth and Miles played together. Finally Seth popped out his loose tooth. He was happy and proud about it. A couple of pics (warning: the pics are a little gross): http://remmel.shutterfly.com/1969
Ethan
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Thanks
My friend George's mom Elizabeth, along with George and his sister Ellen, sent me a beautiful shawl knitted by members of Elizabeth's church. I keep it by my favorite sitting spot, the red loveseat in the TV room, and I love to wrap it around me. It is soft and warm and cozy.
My friend Jonathan designed, printed, and sent me a poster with pictures of and quotes from some of my good friends in the San Francisco area. I hung it on my bedroom wall. I like to look at it before I go to sleep and imagine that my friends' love is wrapped around me and keeping me safe.
Ethan
My friend Jonathan designed, printed, and sent me a poster with pictures of and quotes from some of my good friends in the San Francisco area. I hung it on my bedroom wall. I like to look at it before I go to sleep and imagine that my friends' love is wrapped around me and keeping me safe.
Ethan
Update on WWU men's golf team
After their fall schedule, the WWU men's golf team is ranked #1 in NCAA Division II in one poll and #4 in another. Their spring schedule starts with a tournament Feb 2-4 in Hawaii, where they will play against the top Division I schools, including #1 Oklahoma State. That should be a fun trip and a good challenge for the Vikings!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Good news/bad news
This morning I got my Avastin infusion. My mom accompanied me to the oncology/infusion center. Afterward she dropped me off at the university. I stopped by my office and then played basketball. This was my second attempt to play full-court basketball. The good news: I felt better than the first time. I played two pretty long games of full-court. I didn't get as tired as quickly as before. I even ran a few times, as opposed to just jogging. I was happy with how I played. Good shooting percentage (helped by the fact that I didn't take any outside shots), a good steal, a good block. I walked home (it was another beautiful sunny day here). I was tired and had to rest during the afternoon, but recovered in the evening.
The bad news: I called and found out this afternoon that the preliminary CEA result from my blood draw this morning was 5.0, up from 1.1 (lower is better) on October 13 and above the normal range of 0-3 for a nonsmoker. I'm not sure how big a deal this is, but it's definitely not a good thing. I think it means that the cancer, after being knocked down by the chemo, is waking up and starting to stir. Needless to say, this makes me nervous. I try not to think about it too much.
My mom made a nice dinner for her, Grace, Miles, and me. Miles was cute at the dinner table and afterward. I watched the end of the Celtics game, as they beat the Bucks in overtime and Paul Pierce scored his 20,000th point as a Celtic (third-most ever after Havlicek and Bird) while sealing the game with free throws. I'll be happy if the aging Celtics can mount another charge in the playoffs (I think they would have won last season if Kendrick Perkins hadn't gotten hurt at the end), and I really hope someone, anyone beats the Lakers. In the late evening I went over to Lynn's house and read Tintin to Seth.
Ethan
The bad news: I called and found out this afternoon that the preliminary CEA result from my blood draw this morning was 5.0, up from 1.1 (lower is better) on October 13 and above the normal range of 0-3 for a nonsmoker. I'm not sure how big a deal this is, but it's definitely not a good thing. I think it means that the cancer, after being knocked down by the chemo, is waking up and starting to stir. Needless to say, this makes me nervous. I try not to think about it too much.
My mom made a nice dinner for her, Grace, Miles, and me. Miles was cute at the dinner table and afterward. I watched the end of the Celtics game, as they beat the Bucks in overtime and Paul Pierce scored his 20,000th point as a Celtic (third-most ever after Havlicek and Bird) while sealing the game with free throws. I'll be happy if the aging Celtics can mount another charge in the playoffs (I think they would have won last season if Kendrick Perkins hadn't gotten hurt at the end), and I really hope someone, anyone beats the Lakers. In the late evening I went over to Lynn's house and read Tintin to Seth.
Ethan
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Lauren's visit
Today my friend Lauren visited with her daughter Sarafina (6 months old), sister-in-law Jennifer (who lives in Olympia), and mother-in-law Kristy. Lauren and I were friends during our undergrad years at Yale and then were in the PhD program in psychology at Stanford at the same time. She now teaches at Wittenberg University. Her husband Cameron and son Cade (almost 3 years old) were back home in Ohio.
We had lunch here at the house and then Lauren and I walked down to Boulevard Park and the Taylor Street boardwalk. We sat on a bench in the sun. It was nice to chat and catch up. Then we picked up Miles from day care and went down to Marine Park and played on the beach. Then Lauren and her family members had to drive back to Olympia.
Tonight I read Miles the book I got him in San Francisco (a pop-up book about bugs from Chronicle Books - thanks Lindsay for the employee discount!). Then Miles, Grace, and I snuggled until it was time for him to go to sleep. He is one cute little guy.
Ethan
We had lunch here at the house and then Lauren and I walked down to Boulevard Park and the Taylor Street boardwalk. We sat on a bench in the sun. It was nice to chat and catch up. Then we picked up Miles from day care and went down to Marine Park and played on the beach. Then Lauren and her family members had to drive back to Olympia.
Tonight I read Miles the book I got him in San Francisco (a pop-up book about bugs from Chronicle Books - thanks Lindsay for the employee discount!). Then Miles, Grace, and I snuggled until it was time for him to go to sleep. He is one cute little guy.
Ethan
Epilogue
Yesterday morning I packed up and said my goodbyes to Sarah, Jonathan, Toby, and Jacob - thanks again to them for hosting me. I walked over to Angela's house, where she gave me a loaf of freshly-home-baked bread. We went out to lunch at Ti Couz, a crepe place that I like, and then she drove me to the Oakland airport (thanks Angela!). I finished the book "Neurodiversity" on the plane - it's about the positive sides of mental differences that we characterize as disorders. Grace and Miles picked me up at the Bellingham airport. On the way home we listened to the Giants game on the radio and heard Edgar Renteria's home run. I watched the last few innings at home, as the Giants won the game and their first World Series since 1954 and their first in San Francisco. Yay! I'm sorry I missed the celebration in SF but glad that I got a taste of the excitement while I was there.
I didn't take a lot of photos when I was in the Bay Area, but here is a link to the ones I took: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/1934
I was thinking about our group of friends that formed in San Francisco in the 1990s. I feel fortunate to have fallen in with a group who are not only smart, interesting, talented people but loyal, generous, and compassionate friends. I'm glad that the friendships we forged in our twenties have lasted into our forties, through moves, kids, and other changes. It's interesting to think about how the course of our lives sometimes hinges on small coincidences. If Eric had not seen and responded to JK's ad for a roommate posted at Rainbow Grocery in 1992, then Eric, Michael, and I (the Maine boys) would probably never have met JK and his Cornell crew, including Peter, through whom we met Leo, or Sarah, through whom we met Lindsay, Tami, and many others. When Eric and I were looking for a third roommate for the Coso house in Bernal Heights in 1993, we would not have known about Sarah, who had only recently started dating JK. The period I lived with Eric and Sarah at Casa Coso was one of the most fun times of my life.
I'm back in Bellingham now, where it is actually nice and sunny today. My mom returned to Bellingham late last night from her visit to Maine and Rochester. I am feeling better and better these days, although I still have less energy than normal and need to take periodic breaks to rest. I have become very economical in my activity - no more movements than necessary. My weight had never varied more than a few pounds since high school until this year. I lost 32 pounds (!) when I was very sick in May and June, but with the help of my mom's cooking I've regained all that and then some - I'm actually over my pre-illness weight now.
Ethan
I didn't take a lot of photos when I was in the Bay Area, but here is a link to the ones I took: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/1934
I was thinking about our group of friends that formed in San Francisco in the 1990s. I feel fortunate to have fallen in with a group who are not only smart, interesting, talented people but loyal, generous, and compassionate friends. I'm glad that the friendships we forged in our twenties have lasted into our forties, through moves, kids, and other changes. It's interesting to think about how the course of our lives sometimes hinges on small coincidences. If Eric had not seen and responded to JK's ad for a roommate posted at Rainbow Grocery in 1992, then Eric, Michael, and I (the Maine boys) would probably never have met JK and his Cornell crew, including Peter, through whom we met Leo, or Sarah, through whom we met Lindsay, Tami, and many others. When Eric and I were looking for a third roommate for the Coso house in Bernal Heights in 1993, we would not have known about Sarah, who had only recently started dating JK. The period I lived with Eric and Sarah at Casa Coso was one of the most fun times of my life.
I'm back in Bellingham now, where it is actually nice and sunny today. My mom returned to Bellingham late last night from her visit to Maine and Rochester. I am feeling better and better these days, although I still have less energy than normal and need to take periodic breaks to rest. I have become very economical in my activity - no more movements than necessary. My weight had never varied more than a few pounds since high school until this year. I lost 32 pounds (!) when I was very sick in May and June, but with the help of my mom's cooking I've regained all that and then some - I'm actually over my pre-illness weight now.
Ethan
Monday, November 1, 2010
Too much awesome
Although I had nothing planned in advance, yesterday turned out to be one of my favorite days of this trip. It was a beautiful warm sunny day. In the morning Jonathan and I took a walk around Land's End, with views of the ocean, the Golden Gate, and Marin. In the afternoon I stayed home with Toby (who is sick) and Jacob while Jonathan and Sarah enjoyed a rare opportunity to surf together at Ocean Beach. I was happy to be able to do something for them after everything they have done for me. Not that it was any hardship for me - I relaxed, sat in the sun, and read "A Mouth Like Yours" by our friend Dan Duane. In the late afternoon Sarah and I took a very pleasant walk together around the neighborhood and had a chance to chat. It was warm enough for me to wear shorts for the first time this trip. In the evening I went over to Deepak and Shareen's house to watch the Giants game. I got to see their daughter Rowan, Shareen's sister Roshi, and to meet some of their other friends. The game was great, with the Giants winning to take a 3-1 lead in the World Series. They have a chance to close out the series tonight, but unfortunately I will be on the plane back to Bellingham during the game, although I should be able to catch the end of it when I get back, barring any delays (knock on wood).
This trip has been too much awesome (as the Giants' closer Brian Wilson referred to his orange shoes). It has restored my interest in living. That is, it has renewed my faith that I can truly enjoy life still. I has been so awesome that I am a little worried about going back to Bellingham. I will miss all my dear friends here. I would like to come back, with the kids next time. With the direct flights on Allegiant Air from Bellingham to Oakland, it is a relatively easy and inexpensive trip.
I will have to keep busy when I get back to forestall an emotional letdown. Fortunately my friend Lauren is visiting Bellingham tomorrow, so that should be fun. I agreed to write another book review for American Scientist, so I can concentrate on that. And I would like to try to get into better aerobic shape, so I can play full-court basketball. Speaking of basketball, I signed up to co-coach basketball at the YMCA in the winter with my friend Michael Parke (his son Will is around the same age as Seth) - that will also give me something to which I can look forward.
Go Giants!
Ethan
This trip has been too much awesome (as the Giants' closer Brian Wilson referred to his orange shoes). It has restored my interest in living. That is, it has renewed my faith that I can truly enjoy life still. I has been so awesome that I am a little worried about going back to Bellingham. I will miss all my dear friends here. I would like to come back, with the kids next time. With the direct flights on Allegiant Air from Bellingham to Oakland, it is a relatively easy and inexpensive trip.
I will have to keep busy when I get back to forestall an emotional letdown. Fortunately my friend Lauren is visiting Bellingham tomorrow, so that should be fun. I agreed to write another book review for American Scientist, so I can concentrate on that. And I would like to try to get into better aerobic shape, so I can play full-court basketball. Speaking of basketball, I signed up to co-coach basketball at the YMCA in the winter with my friend Michael Parke (his son Will is around the same age as Seth) - that will also give me something to which I can look forward.
Go Giants!
Ethan
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