"It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game." I was thinking about this saying, in the context of sports and life in general. I agree with it, although I am competitive. I like to win and hate to lose. But sometimes winning isn't the point, such as when the sides are mismatched. If the other side is much stronger, then I think your goal should be to play as well as possible. "Do the best you can - that's all you can do." I say this to Seth sometimes. I like it, as a soft-hearted American parent, because it defines success subjectively. If you know that you tried your hardest, that’s enough. I know it’s made me feel better when some of my efforts have been objectively less than awesome (my dissertation comes to mind). And if you are stronger than your opponent, look for a way to make the game interesting or challenging for you – try to set up your teammates for easy baskets, or work on an area where you could improve (e.g., for me, my left hand).
The greatest disappointment of my life was the failure of my marriage to Lynn. But we did the best we could. And our marriage and divorce resulted in some of the greatest joys of my life: Seth and my relationship with Grace, which led to Miles. This is not a put-down of Lynn – Grace and I are just crazy in similar ways that allow us to get along.
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