Ethan's back!

Ethan made it back to Bellingham late last night, thanks to my brother Gary.  THANK YOU Gary for picking him up at Sea-Tac, then driving him all the way to Bellingham!  Ethan had some great snuggle time with Miles this morning (they had quite a serious conversation about farm animals and zoo animals).  And then FOLFIRI + Avastin infusion today...

Send lots of good thoughts and healing energy our way today! 

~Grace

A thought about time

Is a given period of time long or short? I think it depends on how you perceive it. A period of time that might seem short can actually seem long if you perceive it as many many individual distinct moments. That's how I sometimes make my time seem longer - by trying to be aware of each moment. When I feel good, or even just OK, this can make me feel better.

Ethan

Update on my physical condition

The pain in my bones is getting slowly and gradually worse. I have near-constant dull pain that shifts around to different places, mostly hips and shoulders, arms and legs, and back. Last night I felt it in my left hand for the first time. I have sharp pain with certain movements, particularly in my left shoulder and right hip. My back has stiffened to where some movements are difficult, such as putting on socks or getting in and out of a car. The pain sometimes makes me tired and/or cranky. I can mask the pain with oxycodone pills so far, although I may need to put a fentanyl patch back on if the pain gets bad enough to prevent me from sleeping.

If left untreated, I would guess that I would become incapacitated by the pain and/or the painkillers before very long. That's why I am restarting the chemo. I want to be functional for my dad's visit in December and my sister's family's visit at Christmas.

I keep giving myself goals to shoot for. At first, I just wanted to make it to the Red Sox game in July. Then it was our Labor Day trip to Orcas Island. Then it was San Francisco, and then North Carolina. Now it's Christmas with my family. Then it would be to make it through Seth's basketball season at the YMCA. I'm reluctant to set longer-term goals because honestly I don't know that I will be able to reach them, and I don't want to feel disappointed.

Ethan

Last day in NC

Yesterday Eric and I went to the YMCA and played basketball. There was no pickup game to play in, so we shot around and played some one-on-one games (Pressure, Around the World, 21). It was fun, although it would have been more fun to play together on a team and run some of our old tricks. Thanks to Meredith for dropping us off and picking us up. Home for lunch, and a nap for me. In the later afternoon Eric's sister Abby and her son Elijah Lee and Eric's mom Joyce came over. Joyce stayed for dinner, as Eric made a delicious vegetable curry.

After dinner Eric and I went to the Duke basketball game against Miami of Ohio. We sat at center court, but high up. Later, after some people left, we moved down closer to the court. Eric's friend Steph and her son Cole were there and sat right behind the scorer's table next to the court. Duke shellacked the RedHawks 79-45, and only a late run by Miami made it that close. Duke was in second or third gear most of the game, and Miami couldn't get out of first. Even their own coach was laughing at their futility.

After the game, as we walked across campus, among the Gothic buildings, the night was warm and humid.

This morning I said goodbye to Joaquin and Lucy as they went off to school. I'm here with Eric and Mer now. By the way, thanks to Eric for taking time off work while I've been here, so we could have more time together. This afternoon I fly back to Bellingham, arriving late. Tomorrow morning I have chemo. I am going to do the FOLFIRI drug combo again, as my second-opinion oncologist confirmed that we may not have exhausted the efficacy of that combo, and the side effects of the other combo (FOLFOX) sound worse to me.

Ethan

Random thought

I know it's easy to be unhappy about my health situation, but one way to think about it has helped me: were it not for the miracles of modern medicine, I would have died a horrible painful death back in May. So if you think about it that way, everything since then has been bonus time, gravy on the cake. And that includes a lot of good times and happy moments. So that's something to be thankful for, not sad about.

Ethan

Durham day

This morning Eric, Mer, Lucy, and I took a nice walk along the Eno River in Eno State Park. The fall colors - yellows, oranges, reds - were very pretty. We had lunch at "Hog Heaven" - North Carolina-style BBQ. We came home and most of us, including me, took naps. In the late afternoon Eric, Joaquin, and I took a bike ride on a nice paved path - a converted railroad spur. Babysitter for Joaquin and Lucy, and Eric, Mer, and I met their friends Jeff and Steph for dinner at a gastropub called Federal. We walked home. The night was warm and still.

Ethan

Monday morning

Yesterday we (Eric, Mer, Joaquin, Lucy, and I) had lunch with Abby, Mike, Elijah Lee, and Joyce (thanks Joyce for lunch!). In the late afternoon Eric and I went over to Duke and walked through campus on the way to Cameron Indoor Stadium. Cameron is full of memorabilia and posters about the successes of Duke athletics, particularly basketball. We saw Eric's friend Jeff and his son Cole there. Our seats were pretty high up in the rafters, but Cameron is so small that we weren't that far from the court and could see perfectly well. The Duke student section is next to the court and fun to watch, with their chants and routines. As expected, Duke crushed Princeton (97-60). We got to see the leading Player of the Year candidate, Duke forward Kyle Singler, and one of the most-heralded freshmen in the country, Duke point guard Kyrie Irving, who has star written all over him.

This morning Eric, Lucy, and I walked with Joaquin to his school. Now Eric is playing Uno with Lucy, who is home on Mondays.

Ethan