Good and bad

Thanks Grace for your update. There have been some good things and some bad things lately. I'll start with some good things. My sister Rachel and my dad Chuck arrived on Tuesday from Rochester NY and Portland ME, respectively. While she was here, my sister heard that she got a big grant that will support her taking a sabbatical during the next academic year (she is a professor too) - way to go, sis! We saw a good documentary called "Wretches & Jabberers" at the new Pickford Film Center (a big upgrade over the old space). The documentary was about two middle-aged men with autism who communicate mostly through computers and speakers. They travel around the world educating people about autism and making connections with other individuals with autism. The film was touching and I would recommend seeing it if you get a chance (http://www.wretchesandjabberers.org/). I made a yummy dish for dinner one night: chicken with mangoes and cashews, cooked with rum. Saturday morning Grace took Miles to stay with her parents in Seattle while she is at a conference in Portland OR (they return Tuesday). We went to a cool educational supply and toy store (http://www.launchingsuccess.com/) and I got Miles a big recycling truck toy and Seth picked out something for himself and a little something for Miles. We saw the best of Seattle's children's animated film festival, again at the Pickford - some of the shorts were just OK but some were delightful. It was so nice for me to have my nuclear family around me during this difficult time. It felt surprisingly natural.

OK, on to some bad things. My sister left early today and I am sad about that. I had radiation treatment on Thursday to my left shoulder and right hip. I'm hoping that will decrease the bone pain but it hasn't yet. Right now I am achieving neither of my two goals (acceptable levels of pain relief and mental clarity) and I'm worried that these goals are slipping further away over time, as the cancer continues to grow and spread and impinge on nerves. The pain is difficult to describe - I think I have felt more pain in each of the past few days than I would in a normal year, although I have no way of measuring that. Pretty much every movement hurts, especially of my arms or legs. However, if I sit or lay still, I get stiff and sore and it hurts more. Catch-22.

My mental state is also deteriorating. I tried to work today - reading and grading papers. It was a disaster. I kept nodding off and having strange (but not unpleasant) daydreams and visions. I'm doing this (nodding off) now while I'm trying to type, which makes the typing go very slowly. In fact, I noticed that it is now after midnight so I am going to go to bed.

Peace and love,

Ethan