Good sports night!

Our friends Kristi and Mark came over for dinner and to watch the Washington-Nebraska bowl game, which Washington won, in local hero Jake Locker's final college game! As an added bonus, we saw the Stanford women's basketball team snap UConn's record winning steak (Stanford was also the last team to beat UConn before tonight, back in 2008). Yay!

Ethan

Squires Lake

We took a beautiful walk around Squires Lake this morning. Cold but sunny day.

Pics: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2170

Ethan

Winter

Today we got a dusting of snow in the morning. It melted by the afternoon. In the morning Grandpa Chuck, Grandma Kathy, Rachel, Linda, William, Ben, and I walked around Lake Padden. Then I played basketball at the university. In the evening Grace's parents Frank and Martha Wang came up for dinner. It was nice to see them.

Some pics: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2151

Ethan

Christmas pics

Pics from yesterday: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2117

Ethan

Merry Christmas!

I rested up yesterday and I'm feeling better today. We had dinner last night at the pasta feed at the Boundary Bay brewpub with Kristi & Mark and Todd & Jennifer (thanks Kristi for the idea!).

Today Michael, Teresa, and Will Parke are coming over for brunch and to watch the Celtics-Magic game. My sister Rachel and her partner Linda and their 4-year-old sons William and Benjamin are arriving later this afternoon from Rochester NY. This will be the first time that Linda, William, and Benjamin have ever been to Bellingham and the first time that I have seen them (other than on Skype) since August 2009 (we usually meet in Maine in the summer, but that didn't happen this summer), so I am excited to see them. Rachel's family will be here until January 1, staying at a rental house a few blocks from our house. I'm looking forward to having the four boys (Seth, Benjamin, William, and Miles) together.

Merry Christmas to all!

Ethan

Guilt

I sometimes feel guilty about being sick, because it negatively affects my loved ones. I know it's not my fault that I'm sick, and that my loved ones don't begrudge my presence, but the feeling is still there. It reminds me of when I was teaching about death and dying in my undergraduate lifespan developmental course last winter quarter (less than a year ago - hard to believe!). The topic seemed so abstract then, and I don't think I did a great job of teaching it, because I didn't have much background knowledge or personal experience to draw upon. But I remember that the research suggested that people who are actually approaching death typically report that they are not afraid of death itself as much as suffering and being a burden to others. I can relate to that now. I'm a proud person, and being sick can be an involuntary infantilization. I remember my mom said something this summer that made me feel better, to the effect that taking care of others is an good opportunity to practice compassion. My mom is a wise woman, even if she sometimes mistakes my library card for her hotel room key and forgets what day of the week it is (just teasing, mom!).

Ethan

Thursday

I think one reason I don't feel well is that I may have a cold. It may seem strange to not be sure, but I have so many symptoms and side effects that it's hard to know what's what. The bad thing about a cold is that I'm already operating at about 50% of my normal energy level, so if a cold knocks me down 50%, then I'm at 25% of normal, which is barely moving. But the good thing about a cold is that it will get better.

Some good news: I had a blood draw yesterday and my CEA is 15.8, which is down from 23.1 on November 24 (lower is better). That's still well above the normal range of 0-3, but it shows that the chemo is working against the cancer.

Some more good news: my best friend Eric B. Martin's latest book is going to be published by Dave Eggers's press, and quickly, in order to coincide with the publication of Donald Rumsfeld's memoir. Eric's book involves a Rumsfeldian character, although I don't know the details. But I'm sure it will be interesting and awesome and you should all buy a copy.

Ethan