On Saturday afternoon Sarah, Jonathan, Toby, Jacob, Seth, and I biked and scootered over to Upper Noe Valley Rec Center (where Eric and I used to play basketball sometimes) and played whiffleball. Seth showed off his skateboarding skills.
In the evening we drove over to Lindsay and Wally's new house in the Sunset district, near Ocean Beach, for a get-together with them & their kids Joe, Gus, and Annie; Michael & Hannah & their kids Henry, Frances, and Helen; and Jon & Miriam & their kids Gus and Ava. The kids rampaged (pillow fights, video games, pizza, ice cream, etc.) while the parents reminisced (Black Rock Desert trips, weddings, bachelor parties, etc.). Wally made two delicious lasagnas and Sarah and Miriam made delicious salads. Michael brought a case of fine wine but drank beer instead (as winemakers are wont to do).
I had a touching conversation with Miriam, who lost her mother to cancer last year. We talked about living and dying and love and children. I cried and felt connected. Thank you Miriam for your friendship!
On Sunday Seth and I went to Angela and Erik's house to celebrate their daughter Aurora's 5th birthday party. It was fun even though we didn't know anyone other than the hosts. Seth enjoyed playing on the trapeze in Aurora's room. Erik's mom made a yummy birthday cake. Angela was gracious and spent quite a bit of time with Seth and me considering how many other guests they had there. Seth impressed some of the city folk with stories of his time commercial fishing in Alaska.
In the afternoon Sarah, Jonathan, Toby, Jacob, Seth, and I walked up Bernal Hill. Although still chilly, it was sunny and clear with beautiful views around the Bay Area - Twin Peaks, the Golden Gate Bridge, downtown, the Bay Bridge, Mount Diablo, Candlestick Park, etc. We played touch football before retiring to Humphry Slocombe Ice Cream on Harrison at 24th, where they have very unusual flavors (http://www.humphryslocombe.com/%7C_Flavors_%7C.html). Seth and I settled on tame but tasty choices: Tahitian Vanilla and Dark Chocolate Sea Salt, respectively.
Back to Sarah and Jonathan's house, where we relaxed, watched NFL playoffs, and played games, including Lego Minotaurus, which I got Seth for Christmas and we liked so much that we got a copy for Toby and Jacob. Sarah made a delicious dinner. We toasted to friends and family.
On Monday we had to pack up and say goodbye. Seth was sad to leave. Jonathan and Sarah said that we are always welcome to come back. Toby and Jacob said that they wanted to visit Seth in Bellingham sometime.
Seth and I took BART to North Berkeley, where Tami and Dani picked us up and took us to lunch - yummy udon noodle soup (thanks Tami for lunch!). We picked up Tami's daughters Kate and Clara from their school, went back to Tami & Peter's house (unfortunately we missed Peter as he was at work), and played a little. Then Dani drove Seth and me to the Oakland airport (thanks Dani for the ride!), with a brief stop at Indian Rock, where we climbed to the top and admired the view of the bay.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Back from SF, Part 2
After lunch at Tu Lan, Seth and I went to Jeffrey's Toys on Market St, another place that we have visited many times over the years. The first time we went there Seth got his P-61A "Black Widow" model airplane, which is still displayed on the shelf in his bedroom. On another visit we got Seth's first "Exo-Force" Legos - our favorite line of Legos, now sadly discontinued. This time Seth selected a cool "Space Police" Lego set, using red package Christmas money from Grace's parents and brother Greg (thank you to them!).
It was unusually cold in SF and I was getting tired, so we took a taxi to Sarah and Jonathan's house. Seth and I have visited SF many times since moving from there to Bellingham when Seth was 2 months old, and we have always stayed with Sarah and Jonathan and their sons Toby and Jacob. Their house feels almost like a second home to me now. They have opened their home to us and treated us like family. I will always be grateful for their generosity and friendship.
Seth fits right between Toby and Jacob in age and he enjoys playing with both of them. It makes me happy to see them playing together. I was talking to Jonathan about the fact that it feels important to me that my children know my friends' children. It feels tribal, as if I'm telling Seth "these are your people - you can trust these people." Especially since I may not always be there for him, I want him to know that others will be.
After Sarah and Jonathan and their boys got home, we celebrated Shabbat with candles, chips, ginger ale, and singing. JK got Mexican food from Cancun Taqueria on Mission St. I had a burrito al pastor - yum. After dinner JK entertained the boys by reading from a strange and silly book that my friend Eric sent Seth for Christmas. It's from McSweeney's press, involves giant squid, and the boys loved it.
http://store.mcsweeneys.net/index.cfm/fuseaction/catalog.detail/object_id/bebec4f0-abeb-40fc-821a-27baea82539c/AnimalsoftheOceaninParticulartheGiantSquid.cfm
Speaking of McSweeney's and Eric, they are publishing his new book "Donald" later this month, to coincide with the publication of Donald Rumsfeld's memoir "Known and Unknown."
http://store.mcsweeneys.net/index.cfm/fuseaction/catalog.detail/object_id/bca9a12b-c6c7-4d69-ab51-d66326acb980/Donald.cfm
"Donald" was mentioned in the New York Times and elsewhere recently!
http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/01/07/dueling-rumsfelds-novel-to-appear-on-same-day-as-memoir/
http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/stephen-elliott-on-donald-rumsfeld-hes-a-sympathetic-character_b20904
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jan/10/donald-rumsfeld-memoir-satire
Everyone agrees that Eric should be on "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" to talk about "Donald." If anyone knows how to make this happen, please do so or tell me how (I'm serious).
It was unusually cold in SF and I was getting tired, so we took a taxi to Sarah and Jonathan's house. Seth and I have visited SF many times since moving from there to Bellingham when Seth was 2 months old, and we have always stayed with Sarah and Jonathan and their sons Toby and Jacob. Their house feels almost like a second home to me now. They have opened their home to us and treated us like family. I will always be grateful for their generosity and friendship.
Seth fits right between Toby and Jacob in age and he enjoys playing with both of them. It makes me happy to see them playing together. I was talking to Jonathan about the fact that it feels important to me that my children know my friends' children. It feels tribal, as if I'm telling Seth "these are your people - you can trust these people." Especially since I may not always be there for him, I want him to know that others will be.
After Sarah and Jonathan and their boys got home, we celebrated Shabbat with candles, chips, ginger ale, and singing. JK got Mexican food from Cancun Taqueria on Mission St. I had a burrito al pastor - yum. After dinner JK entertained the boys by reading from a strange and silly book that my friend Eric sent Seth for Christmas. It's from McSweeney's press, involves giant squid, and the boys loved it.
http://store.mcsweeneys.net/index.cfm/fuseaction/catalog.detail/object_id/bebec4f0-abeb-40fc-821a-27baea82539c/AnimalsoftheOceaninParticulartheGiantSquid.cfm
Speaking of McSweeney's and Eric, they are publishing his new book "Donald" later this month, to coincide with the publication of Donald Rumsfeld's memoir "Known and Unknown."
http://store.mcsweeneys.net/index.cfm/fuseaction/catalog.detail/object_id/bca9a12b-c6c7-4d69-ab51-d66326acb980/Donald.cfm
"Donald" was mentioned in the New York Times and elsewhere recently!
http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/01/07/dueling-rumsfelds-novel-to-appear-on-same-day-as-memoir/
http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/stephen-elliott-on-donald-rumsfeld-hes-a-sympathetic-character_b20904
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jan/10/donald-rumsfeld-memoir-satire
Everyone agrees that Eric should be on "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" to talk about "Donald." If anyone knows how to make this happen, please do so or tell me how (I'm serious).
Back from San Francisco
Seth and I returned to Bellingham from the Bay Area last night. My mom picked us up at the Bellingham airport. She had a snack for Seth in the car and a yummy dinner waiting at home. Grace and Miles were also waiting at home. Miles had just taken a bath and smelled good when I hugged him.
It snowed while we were away and there is still snow and ice on the ground. We may get more snow tonight, depending on the temperature (currently 35 degrees).
It was a good trip but a hard one for me physically. Scheduling it right after chemo (I disconnected the chemo pump Thursday and we flew out Friday morning) may have been overly optimistic on my part. I felt tired and sick to my stomach a lot of the time. Feeling sick can make me crabby, but I tried to stay positive. I tried not to let Seth see that I wasn't feeling well, because I wanted him to enjoy the trip. This trip was really for him as much as or more than for me. He wanted to go to San Francisco and visit Toby and Jacob, although I certainly liked the idea too. And I think Seth did have a good time. With everything going on in his life, it was good to see him having fun and seeming like his normal self, just being a kid.
We flew into Oakland and took BART to downtown San Francisco. We had lunch at Tu Lan, a Vietnamese dive on seedy 6th St that I like. It's the same as always - narrow, crowded, noisy, waiters and cooks yelling to each other, sizzling sounds and clouds of steam from the tiny open kitchen behind the counter. I recognize some of the people working there. Cheap huge portions. Men elbow-to-elbow at the counter woofing them down. Faded positive reviews from Julia Child and Herb Caen in the front window. "Best of the Bay Guardian 1995" banner on the back wall. Long menu in Vietnamese. I always point to the item with the longest name - it's noodles with BBQ pork and a spring roll on top. Good flavors intermixed - mint, peanut, scallion, etc. I can taste it now as I type. I have a picture of Seth eating at Tu Lan on my desk, from a visit to SF in June 2007, when he was 4, about to turn 5. Compare it to the picture I took on this visit:
It snowed while we were away and there is still snow and ice on the ground. We may get more snow tonight, depending on the temperature (currently 35 degrees).
It was a good trip but a hard one for me physically. Scheduling it right after chemo (I disconnected the chemo pump Thursday and we flew out Friday morning) may have been overly optimistic on my part. I felt tired and sick to my stomach a lot of the time. Feeling sick can make me crabby, but I tried to stay positive. I tried not to let Seth see that I wasn't feeling well, because I wanted him to enjoy the trip. This trip was really for him as much as or more than for me. He wanted to go to San Francisco and visit Toby and Jacob, although I certainly liked the idea too. And I think Seth did have a good time. With everything going on in his life, it was good to see him having fun and seeming like his normal self, just being a kid.
We flew into Oakland and took BART to downtown San Francisco. We had lunch at Tu Lan, a Vietnamese dive on seedy 6th St that I like. It's the same as always - narrow, crowded, noisy, waiters and cooks yelling to each other, sizzling sounds and clouds of steam from the tiny open kitchen behind the counter. I recognize some of the people working there. Cheap huge portions. Men elbow-to-elbow at the counter woofing them down. Faded positive reviews from Julia Child and Herb Caen in the front window. "Best of the Bay Guardian 1995" banner on the back wall. Long menu in Vietnamese. I always point to the item with the longest name - it's noodles with BBQ pork and a spring roll on top. Good flavors intermixed - mint, peanut, scallion, etc. I can taste it now as I type. I have a picture of Seth eating at Tu Lan on my desk, from a visit to SF in June 2007, when he was 4, about to turn 5. Compare it to the picture I took on this visit:
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Thanks!
Some of my friends chipped in and sent me a t-shirt and mug with a design of our faces wearing funny wigs. The design was done by our friend Hannah Henry (http://www.hannahhenry.com/). I don't know whose picture looks the funniest - Jon Burke (upper left) makes a pretty fine woman, although not as fine as our beauty queen Lindsay Anderson (now Lindsay Sablosky, lower right, actual debutante photo).
A little tired today. Hiccups from the Emend.
Ethan
A little tired today. Hiccups from the Emend.
Ethan
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Hail the Cardinal!
Monday was a good day. Played basketball (three full court games, went 2-1). Ran errands, which felt productive. My friends Dave, Larry, and Allan came over in the evening to watch Stanford beat Virginia Tech 40-12 in the Orange Bowl. Stanford will finish in the top 5 for the first time since 1940. However, they may lose both their coach Jim Harbaugh (to the SF 49ers, Denver Broncos, or University of Michigan - his alma mater) and their star QB Andrew Luck (who the Carolina Panthers have already announced they will take with their #1 pick if he enters the NFL draft rather than returning to Stanford - c'mon, Andrew, Jake Locker returned to UW and it only cost him millions of dollars as his draft stock fell while risking career-ending injury - but he won a bowl game! oh right, you just did that...).
Chemo today, so not much interesting to report. I feel OK so far (knock on wood), although my stomach feels a little funky and I can feel my throat getting hoarse.
Ethan
Chemo today, so not much interesting to report. I feel OK so far (knock on wood), although my stomach feels a little funky and I can feel my throat getting hoarse.
Ethan
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Health update
I have felt pretty good the past five days or so (knock on wood), with no real problems other than the constant nosebleeds (a side effect of the chemo drug Avastin). But in the past couple of days my bone pain has increased, probably because I took an extra third week off from chemo to enjoy my family's time together for Christmas and New Year's (which I did enjoy and don't regret at all). I have chemo again this Tuesday, so I will be wearing the chemo pump until Thursday, and I hope that will knock the cancer back a bit. Otherwise I might need to increase my pain medication from the current 25-microgram Fentanyl patch. At this point I feel like I can tell where the cancer is at from the bone pain, without even needing the CEA numbers or PET scans. I am getting resigned to the fact that I am probably not going to have any long periods of remission, unless some other treatment regimen works much better than this one. The cancer I have seems to spread pretty aggressively soon after stopping treatment. Once the FOLFIRI chemo drug combination stops working, which I'm told it will eventually as the cancer adapts, the next step will probably be a chemo cocktail called FOLFOX, which is basically the same with one drug substitution: oxaliplatin for irinotecan. Those are basically the only treatment options for metastatic colon cancer (there is another one, but it's not expected to work for me because I am apparently a KRAS genetic mutant), unlike some other cancers such as breast cancer which get more attention and have more treatment options (I got a glimpse of the unfortunate politics of cancer research when my Seattle oncologist was discussing his frustration with the difficulty of getting attention for colorectal cancer - as one of my friends said: "Who wants to wear a brown ribbon?"). After FOLFIRI and FOLFOX, I am looking into some clinical trials of newer experimental treatments, with the help of Dr. Mark Renneker in San Francisco (referred to me by Jonathan and Sarah). The problem with most of those is that they would require me to travel to a research site in some other part of the country, and I don't really want to spend a lot of my limited remaining time in Evanston, Illinois or some other random place far from family and my sons in particular.
Speaking of Jonathan and Sarah and travel, I am planning to fly down to San Francisco with Seth this Friday through Monday (January 7-10) and stay with Jonathan and Sarah. Seth asked me if we could visit them and their sons Toby and Jacob and this is our only chance before his basketball season at the YMCA begins the following weekend (I will be co-coaching his team again with my friend Michael Parke, whose son Will will also be on the team). I am really hoping that I will feel OK after the chemo this week; I would hate to have to cancel this trip on short notice. We'll see.
In general, I really hope I will tolerate the chemo and any other subsequent treatments reasonably well, because I have a goal to return to work in the spring quarter, which begins in late March. My main worry is fatigue, which has been manageable lately but which may get worse over time as the chemo toxicity accumulates in the body.
Ethan
Speaking of Jonathan and Sarah and travel, I am planning to fly down to San Francisco with Seth this Friday through Monday (January 7-10) and stay with Jonathan and Sarah. Seth asked me if we could visit them and their sons Toby and Jacob and this is our only chance before his basketball season at the YMCA begins the following weekend (I will be co-coaching his team again with my friend Michael Parke, whose son Will will also be on the team). I am really hoping that I will feel OK after the chemo this week; I would hate to have to cancel this trip on short notice. We'll see.
In general, I really hope I will tolerate the chemo and any other subsequent treatments reasonably well, because I have a goal to return to work in the spring quarter, which begins in late March. My main worry is fatigue, which has been manageable lately but which may get worse over time as the chemo toxicity accumulates in the body.
Ethan
Suddenly quiet house
I haven't blogged much this past week, other than posting pictures, because my sister Rachel's family was here and I wanted to focus on visiting with them. But they left last night to go home to Rochester after a week-long visit and my dad just left tonight to go home to Maine after a 3.5-week visit. I will miss them of course, but it was great to have my family here for Christmas and New Year's.
My sister's family got a range of Bellingham winter weather: warm the first day, then windy and stormy, a little snow, then cold but clear and sunny. It worked out well for them to have their own house only two blocks from our house. We got into a nice routine with walks in the morning and hanging out in the afternoon and evening.
On Friday we drove up to Vancouver and visited the aquarium. My sister pointed out that the closest major cities for both of our families are Canadian: Toronto and Vancouver. I got New Year's messages from my friends Eric and Michael but we were all asleep here before midnight.
On Saturday we took a nice walk at Point Whitehorn through woods to a beach. It was a beautiful day: sunny, clear, and calm. Seth built a fort out of driftwood and he, Miles, and I all got in it. In a field adjacent to the parking area we saw a guy take off and land in an ultralight aircraft with a parasail wing. Lunch at La Fiamma wood fire pizza. Seth and I did a Sudoku in record time. In the afternoon our friends John and Kim and their daughter Nora came over to watch college football and hang out. We had a nice family dinner before Rachel and her family had to leave for the airport. At one point I got to cuddle on the couch with all four boys (my two sons and two nephews), which felt really good. Seth, my mom, and I watched "The Secret of Kells" DVD. Seth and I snuggled during the night. A very good day.
Some pics: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2202
This morning my dad, Seth, and I walked down to Fairhaven with our beloved neighbor Gene and had breakfast at the Harris Ave Cafe. Then my mom, my dad, Seth, and I drove up Mount Baker Highway and stopped at the Deming Eagle Park (we saw some bald eagles and a red-tailed hawk) and the new Maple Creek Park in Maple Falls (we got a little lost but made it out eventually). This evening I got to cuddle on the couch with Miles and Seth, which made me happy.
Ethan
My sister's family got a range of Bellingham winter weather: warm the first day, then windy and stormy, a little snow, then cold but clear and sunny. It worked out well for them to have their own house only two blocks from our house. We got into a nice routine with walks in the morning and hanging out in the afternoon and evening.
On Friday we drove up to Vancouver and visited the aquarium. My sister pointed out that the closest major cities for both of our families are Canadian: Toronto and Vancouver. I got New Year's messages from my friends Eric and Michael but we were all asleep here before midnight.
On Saturday we took a nice walk at Point Whitehorn through woods to a beach. It was a beautiful day: sunny, clear, and calm. Seth built a fort out of driftwood and he, Miles, and I all got in it. In a field adjacent to the parking area we saw a guy take off and land in an ultralight aircraft with a parasail wing. Lunch at La Fiamma wood fire pizza. Seth and I did a Sudoku in record time. In the afternoon our friends John and Kim and their daughter Nora came over to watch college football and hang out. We had a nice family dinner before Rachel and her family had to leave for the airport. At one point I got to cuddle on the couch with all four boys (my two sons and two nephews), which felt really good. Seth, my mom, and I watched "The Secret of Kells" DVD. Seth and I snuggled during the night. A very good day.
Some pics: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/2202
This morning my dad, Seth, and I walked down to Fairhaven with our beloved neighbor Gene and had breakfast at the Harris Ave Cafe. Then my mom, my dad, Seth, and I drove up Mount Baker Highway and stopped at the Deming Eagle Park (we saw some bald eagles and a red-tailed hawk) and the new Maple Creek Park in Maple Falls (we got a little lost but made it out eventually). This evening I got to cuddle on the couch with Miles and Seth, which made me happy.
Ethan
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