Thanksgiving

Hi Everyone,

Guest blogger Grace here again.  Even under difficult circumstances, on thisThanksgiving Day, we are thankful for friends and family, near and far, for their love and support.  As I look out the window, it's a snowy and blustery scene.  Beautiful, if not treacherous...but we're looking forward to dinner with the Bunns. 

I am thankful for Kathy's presence here; I know it's hard for her to be away from the rest of her family, even under the best of circumstances.  I am thankful for every additional day I get to spend with Ethan, and I am thankful for our beautiful kid Miles, who is so full of joy (even when he's testing my patience). 

On a more serious note, Ethan had an infusion on the 18th.  It had been about seven weeks since his last one, and I think his body is getting re-adjusted to the chemo...it has been kind of a rough week, lots of nausea and tiredness.  Kathy and I just try to be here for him, and wish there was more we could do.  Miles is always good for a laugh, though! 

Happy Thanksgiving!

With love,
~Grace

Post-chemo report

Good news: I feel like the pain in my bones has lessened. Bad news: I feel low energy, mentally foggy, upset stomach, a little grumpy, and just generally like sitting around and doing nothing. So I built a fire and am watching football (Go Patriots!).

Ethan

Update

Yesterday I had lunch with my friend Fred Wagner. Fred's architecture firm is Grinstad & Wagner in Fairhaven (http://www.grinstadwagner.com/index.shtml). I first met Fred when he drew up the plans for the renovation of our house and then reconnected with him when his son Sean was in Seth's class at Larrabee Elementary School. He did a great job of designing additions that expanded the functionality of our house while preserving the character. If anyone ever needs an architect, I would highly recommend him. He's also a very nice guy.

In the afternoon Seth came with me to my appointment with my therapist. I think it was helpful for him and for me to talk about our feelings about my illness together. And we were able to clear up one misunderstanding of his: that my illness was related to our trip to Mexico in March (an example of the "post hoc ergo propter hoc" fallacy - reminds me of Gary Hertz's logic class in high school).

In the evening my mom and I finished the movie "Get Him to the Greek," which was moderately amusing.

Last night it snowed a couple of inches here. It is sunny and pretty but cold today. Seth and Miles went sledding.

I am feeling kind of blah today. Just having a quiet day around the house, watching college football. Wisconsin beat Michigan. Yale lost to Harvard. Stanford is currently crushing Cal (Go Cardinal!).

Ethan

Another random thought about time

Another way to enjoy time is to not focus on the individual moments, in fact, to not focus on time at all, but only focus on the activity at hand. When you are completely engrossed in an activity (what psychologists call a "flow" state) you are just doing it (making Nike proud) and unaware of time. Basketball used to do that for me, which is one reason that I love it so much, and that it was very healthy for me mentally as well as physically. I would "wake up" at the end of a game and realize that I hadn't been thinking about my worries, my responsibilities, my endless to-do lists, etc. In fact, I hadn't even been thinking (self-consciously) about basketball - I was just playing it.

Basketball still does that for me, although awareness of my new physical limitations sometimes pulls me out of the flow state. And other activities work as well. Thinking about my North Carolina trip - when I was watching basketball with Eric, really watching intently, trying to see what was going to happen on each play before it happened - Eric and I sometimes simultaneously pointing toward the open man a second before he received (or sometimes didn't receive) the ball. I think of dinner with Eric and Meredith and their friends Jeff and Steph - interesting funny conversation over good food - I wasn't aware of being sick at all.

Ethan

Grace

I think Grace is the most beautiful woman in the world. To be clear, my perception of attractiveness is a multiplicative factor of physical beauty and how much I like someone. Since Grace scores a 10 on both categories, she gets a perfect score of 100.

When Gary and I pulled up to the house late last night and Grace opened the door to greet us, she looked literally radiant to me. Light was shining from her. OK, maybe she was just backlit by the entry chandelier, but the effect was angelic. If angels were smoking hot.

Ethan

Today

Chemo was fine. Boring but not unpleasant. I feel fine tonight, although I have to tote the crappy little chemo pump for the next two days, like an evil Walkman (that only plays Poison? although "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" is a pretty excellent power ballad...).

Seth and his aunt Shannon (who is visiting from Milwaukee) came over tonight. It was really nice for me to watch Seth and Miles playing together happily. My mom made a nice dinner for all of us. I got to read books, sing songs, and cuddle with Miles at his bedtime.

My mom and I started watching the movie "Get Him to the Greek" but had to stop to watch "The Office." Good episode tonight, funny.

Happy Birthday to Linda, my sister-in-law!

Ethan

Back in the City of Subdued Excitement

Meredith took me to the airport yesterday (thanks Mer!). My flight from Minneapolis to Seattle was delayed, so I missed my shuttle bus to Bellingham. Grace called her brother Gary, who is living in Seattle, and he picked me up and drove me all the way home to Bellingham, then turned around and drove back. Pretty gosh-darn nice, but typical of Grace's family in my experience. I'm glad that Miles will be exposed to their values of generosity and loyalty to family, and I hope that he absorbs them.

I got to cuddle with Miles this morning before he went to school. Now I am off to chemo with my indefatigable mom.

Pics from my NC trip: http://remmel.shutterfly.com/1972

Ethan